My plan is usually to see what happens because I spent too many years losing it over my plans going sideways. The flip side is now whenever I’m with anyone and they start forming concrete plans it ruins my figure it out on the fly plan and fucks up my day. I feel like there’s no winning x.x

Stuck in Updateless Decision Theory

While this is not uncommon, I resent it being described as ‘This is Neurodivergence’, that’s a way wider net, but that’s likely part of my divergence.

I’m with you. Was my first reaction also.

I’ve learned to deal with plans going tits up. I have to actually stop, find somewhere quiet and calm myself down first but once I can follow those steps I’m pretty good at adapting to changes. Not on the fly as it were but I don’t need to return to base to replan so that makes a big difference.

My solution has been to use time blocks and checkboxes. I have a plan for every single day, including occasional chores and water intake (because I forget to drink most of the time). I don’t assign any time except for wake-up time and bedtime. My time blocks are titled “morning,” “deep work,” “movement,” “chores,” and “evening.”

I use the Pomodoro method for deep work and just assign how many sessions I do, instead of the length of time, and force myself to take breaks to avoid burnout (I tend to struggle with letting go of a task before it’s finished). I also use timers to help with other tasks, say no more than 15 minutes for chores or getting ready for the day.

I used to plan out very detailed schedules and get overwhelmed and frustrated when I inevitably didn’t follow that routine precisely. I used to have meltdowns over doing a task a few minutes later than planned. I now allow myself to take as much time as I want, as long as I have around 80% of the checkboxes marked as done by the end of the day. I also repeat positive affirmations and journal at least 1 win every day to keep myself from criticising myself over minor details like not vacuuming that day.

This way, I don’t have to focus on little details of my day and when, but on what needs to be done. I can mix up my time blocks however I want; what matters is that they get done. I’ve recently started this system of setting 3 goals for every 4 or so weeks, then breaking down those big goals into smaller actions, and then plan out gradual progress towards those goals each week (e.g. if my goal is to drink 1.3L of water, I work my way up each week). And every Sunday night, I plan out every day of the week, including my sample day (breakfast, shower, dinner, etc) and the goals (e.g. drinking 1 glass between blocks, going outside for a few minutes, occasional chores, etc) using time blocks. I know it seems like a lot of work and hyperfixation, but it’s been saving me a lot of stress lately.

So if you’re confused, my day typically looks like this:

1. Morning

• wake up at 07:30
• read positive affirmations, stretch, meditate, etc.
• have breakfast and 1 glass of water
• brush teeth, cleanse face, get ready

2. Deep Work

• 2-4 Pomodoro sessions
• 1 Pomodoro for goals
• 1 Pomodoro for language learning
• 1 glass of water

3. Movement

• posture stretching
• exercise, depending on the day (walking, workout, cycling, etc)
• 1 glass of water

4. Cleaning

• daily chores (dishes, wipe counters, quick vacuum, make the bed)
• occasional chores (mop the floor, laundry, dust, etc)
• 1 glass of water

5. Evening

• cook and have dinner
• place medication nearby
• have 1 glass of water
• shower (and shave or wash hair if needed)
• brush teeth, cleanse face, overnight haircare, etc.
• turn off screens, hobbies, etc.
• journal, plan the next day, relax, meditate, take medication, etc.
• sleep at 22:30

Motivated me planned for my day of; get up in the morning to go to the gym, eat healthy etc.etc… then I’m not able to get up and sleeping until 11am… The rest of the day? Bad mood and couch modus because I can’t function like a “normal” human (what even is normal?)

Which is why I learned early on to never plan for anything, and instead got really good at just winging it.

Yes, I was fully mentally prepared for a work day,

BUT…

I got water in the hole in my shoe and now my sock is wet.

I no longer plan days. I plan small moments, events, conversations, and I plan reactions for when my plans go wrong (things like incompatible and alternative behaviors). I often find myself imitating characters and people I’ve admired who have great social skills and compassion. Breaking my day up into calendar events has helped tremendously. It feels silly, but planning for plans to break was so painful at first, now it’s just something I laugh over as I rewrite my calendar for the third time in a day.

My girlfriend: Want to come over today?

Me: Sorry, I already mentally planned this to be a “me day.” I haven’t got the energy to do much, so I’m not going anywhere or doing anything.

She understands, we’re both on the spectrum. I like to plan ahead for things, so spur-of-the-moment socialization, even for people I like, is hard to do. I naturally want to apologize and sometimes feel guilty for rejecting invites, but she reminds me that there’s nothing wrong with planning or having “me time.” We usually make plans for the following day when this happens, as when I wake up with a plan already in place, it becomes so much easier to follow through. It’s the spontaneity that’s the most difficult thing.

Wet socks is a “I don’t care what is happening, I want to go home now” condition for me.

Sounds like a keeper

usually my plan is making a plan and forgetting to do it

Scarily relatable

This image is 80% of my personality.

But also, when did every single PNG on the internet become a “meme”? Feels like I’ve been seeing this a lot, lately.

A meme is just a thought that can be transferred and propagate within a population. It’s the thought-equivalent of a gene.

Probably one of the only useful things that Richard Dawkins contributed to society.

i think a lot about the usage of “memes” in MGR:Revengence which seems purely comedic in the current vernacular but if you try to remember the original definition it starts to just make sense instead.

ETA: added context via link

i realize now this is part of why i gave up on seeing doctors.

ADHD is spending hours sitting at my desk all weekend, barely able to wring out an intro sentence for my Final paper, and then finally getting the motivation and drive to put words on (digital) paper a few hours before it’s due.

…Probably—I’m lacking in diagnosis.