“In a bold move to remind the world that the USA and Alberta do not have a North American monopoly on closed-mindedness, the province of Quebec recently passed the legislation.”

That line is gold. On behalf of normal Americans, I’d like to apologize to Canada. None of us want to annex Canada. Just our insane president.

This one almost got me

I wanna annex Canada, but, like, as an extension of my house, not my country. Like, I wanna move to Canada, but I’m kinda lazy, so I want Canada to come to me. Hey Canada, if y’all’re ever in Texas, gimme a call.

You want to be annexed by Canada, is what you’re saying. I’m hearing that a lot

I’m a Texan—we don’t get annexed. Period.

We just get in over our heads in war and then beg a bigger bully to save us before declaring victory.

So, if you’re looking to adopt a real winner, I give you permission to ask me to join your country.

Is it just “culture” or does the skin color also matter?

Yes but in a way that acknowledges I’m a strong alpha big boy

They always play the “it’s their culture” card but then later praise Japan for being so successful due to being “homogeneous”

Pretty please with sugar on top?

Only cuz you asked so nicely. I now give you permission to pay for my extensive debts from trying to steal my neighbor’s yard.