Probably lucky it wasn’t me because I’d be all “err… yeah, it’s errr Alan Unplayed Card” and have to try and get out the conversation really fast because nobody would buy that.

what can I say, my parents were big fans of erm errr solitaire err fuck is that the time, gotta dash bye now

Not that I’d ever get so far into a cunning ruse. I’d have signed my name as Little Bobby Dracula or something without thinking.

It’s been a few years since I last read through its short run but I still can’t work out what on Earth anyone at Dell was thinking with this. Over the course of three issues of total Dracula madness, where the dude has his own fursuit and spends a lot of time working out, even by their standards and, well, comics in general, those three issues of Dracula related shenanigans are something.

I love them, they’re completely off their noggin trying to make Dracula work as a superhero, but yeah.

Dracula becomes a superhero after drinking too strong a dose of an antidote for brain damage that he synthesised from millions of bats he just happens to have hanging around. Luckily he has no cravings for the blood of innocents, just the ability to turn into a bat. Even his strength is from doing weights and stuff, not from any superhuman ability. He bought a fursuit because he likes it and thinks it looks cool.

It’s amazing.

There is a panel of him working out … as a bat. A cutaway diagram of his secret lair! He meets a girl who after a couple of adventures decides she’s going to work with him as his sidekick and necks the serum herself. And Dracula defeats a terrorist plot to destroy most of the Earth via nuclear mutually assured destruction for his first venture into superhero-ing.

It’s impossible for me not to love the shit out of it. It just is.

It only managed three issues! And there’s so much silliness crammed into them. I love that they can’t decide if it’s a tight fitting superhero suit or slightly furry. Seems to entirely depend on someone’s mood. The bad guys should not be allowed near vehicles, this is a health and safety nightmare.

One of the fun things about living in 2025 is that 12 months ago I’d be all “this dirigible would never be made” and now I’m like, sure, fuck it, someone totally would and it’d probably be Tesla and the sky would be on fire and people would still wonder why everyone else hates them for setting the sky on fire because their numbers were still going up.