A Modest Proposal:
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Ok, three. I can think of three.
To be fair, I'm supposed to be sleeping and shouldn't be on here.
Draw a line of coke on the bottom of his swimming pool.
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Draw a line of coke on the bottom of his swimming pool.
Artificial Intelligence
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Two. One to hold the lightbulb and the other to spin the ladder .
@corbden No, you actually only need one. The billionaire climbs up the ladder holds up the light bulb and expects the universe to revolve around him or her.
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Artificial Intelligence
Actually, probably could repurpose some old "Scotch/Irish are cheapskates" jokes as well.
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Actually, probably could repurpose some old "Scotch/Irish are cheapskates" jokes as well.
Thiel, Zuck, and Musk are sitting in a pub. They each order a pint.
Thiel finds a fly in his drink. He knocks the glass over in a huff huff walks out.
There's a fly in Zuck's beer, too. He just shrugs, flicks it out, chugs it down, and orders two more.
Another fly buzzing along lands right in Musk's drink with a plop. Musk grabs it between his fingers and yells, "That's mine! Spit it out!!"
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Actually, probably could repurpose some old "Scotch/Irish are cheapskates" jokes as well.
@corbden
string casts a shadow — sunny
string wet — raining
string at an angle — windy
string missing — private equity -
Thiel, Zuck, and Musk are sitting in a pub. They each order a pint.
Thiel finds a fly in his drink. He knocks the glass over in a huff huff walks out.
There's a fly in Zuck's beer, too. He just shrugs, flicks it out, chugs it down, and orders two more.
Another fly buzzing along lands right in Musk's drink with a plop. Musk grabs it between his fingers and yells, "That's mine! Spit it out!!"
The lawyer jokes I've heard seen to fit...
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The lawyer jokes I've heard seen to fit...
One's a heartless blood-sucking rodent, and the other's a flying mammal.
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Two. One to hold the lightbulb and the other to spin the ladder .
@corbden Alternate answer: 1 to hold the lightbulb while the world revolves around him.
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One's a heartless blood-sucking rodent, and the other's a flying mammal.
Siri is fascist now.
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One's a heartless blood-sucking rodent, and the other's a flying mammal.
@corbden A good start.
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A Modest Proposal:
Repurpose all the old tasteless "Pollock" and "Blonde" jokes, where the punchline is always about how clueless the demographic is, but make them about billionaires.
eg:
What do you call a billionaire skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
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A Elon Musk is helping build a smart house for Bill Gates. Gates tells him to nail up the drywall on the south wall of the living room.
When Gates comes back to check on him, he finds Musk pulling each nail out of the bucket, inspecting it, then some he would pound into the wall, while others he'd curse and throw behind him, where a pile of nails was growing.
"What's going on??" Gates shouts.
"Well, some nincompoop put the heads of those nails on backwards!"
"You fool!" screams Gates. "Those nails are for the other wall!!"
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And so on. There are hundreds of these. With this reframing, the targets come off as being incompetent ego-inflated posers rather than "stupid." I might be able to rewrite a dozen just from memory.
@corbden it's got real possibilities. The old Polish submarine joke works so much better in the age of Oceangate and Elon Musk
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A Modest Proposal:
Repurpose all the old tasteless "Pollock" and "Blonde" jokes, where the punchline is always about how clueless the demographic is, but make them about billionaires.
eg:
What do you call a billionaire skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
~
A Elon Musk is helping build a smart house for Bill Gates. Gates tells him to nail up the drywall on the south wall of the living room.
When Gates comes back to check on him, he finds Musk pulling each nail out of the bucket, inspecting it, then some he would pound into the wall, while others he'd curse and throw behind him, where a pile of nails was growing.
"What's going on??" Gates shouts.
"Well, some nincompoop put the heads of those nails on backwards!"
"You fool!" screams Gates. "Those nails are for the other wall!!"
~
And so on. There are hundreds of these. With this reframing, the targets come off as being incompetent ego-inflated posers rather than "stupid." I might be able to rewrite a dozen just from memory.
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@corbden A good start.
@kagan I thought of doing this one but couldn't quite bring myself. Glad you did it!!
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@corbden it's got real possibilities. The old Polish submarine joke works so much better in the age of Oceangate and Elon Musk
@wotsac Oh oh! I'll add it!
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Siri is fascist now.
It's genius. It keeps the fish out!
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@corbden this is great. That joke is funny but the hate is so poorly directed originally. Making a subject of these a person who chooses to be a way, not just born into it, brings the entire genre back
@ATLeagle Right? Not only people who could choose otherwise, but who aren't just satisfied with *having* the money, but need to be jerks about it. This undermines the clout that money brings them.
Musk's quote yesterday seeded the idea, when he compared billionaires to marginalized classes. He dehumanized himself by saying, "There are good billionaires and bad billionaires. Just like there are good people and bad people."
Not people? Ok let's go!
As I rewrite them, I'm especially enjoying how the context subtly changes the humor vibe, which now comes with cockiness, bossiness, a fundamental misunderstanding of how reality works, and unwillingness to correct error.
(This did not help with my insomnia last night.)
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@kagan I thought of doing this one but couldn't quite bring myself. Glad you did it!!
@corbden Glad I could help!
Let's face it: making billionaires scorned pariahs everywhere they go is a *group effort*. Let's all do our part!
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It's genius. It keeps the fish out!
Jeff Bezos' self-driving limo crashes on a remote road in the desert. A day later, alone and dying, he stumbles into a lonely truck stop dragging one of the limo doors behind him. As he collapses, thirsty and sweating, the clerk rushes out.
"Help," he mutters. "I'm Jeff Bezos. I need water."
The clerk looks at the door. "What's that for?" he asks.
"In case it gets hot, I can roll the window down."
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Siri is fascist now.
always has been
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