Going new places & meeting new people? Oh, the fucking anxiety!

Going out into the community & finding comrades? That's a little better!

But seriously, we need to get fucking *serious* about networks of care & trust now, because the fash see us helping each other as a vulnerability they can exploit.

Unfortunately I can't tell you much more practical shit here, because I don't know shit about the practicalities of op-sec, but I do know we all need to learn.

My autistic ass does not want to take on the terrifying task of trying to make new connections right now. I can be very good with people, but a lot of the time that's masking, which is fucking exhausting.

But it's not playtime anymore. We gotta brace for impact.

The point I want to emphasize here is that being proactive could prevent a lot of pain & suffering down the line.

If networks of care are how they try to target us, then we gotta be sharp & on our game, because *we need those*.

What ICE is doing right now? It's fucking warfare.

My autistic ass does not want to take on the terrifying task of trying to make new connections right now. I can be very good with people, but a lot of the time that's masking, which is fucking exhausting.

But it's not playtime anymore. We gotta brace for impact.

@artemis

The irony of being a very isolated person with severe social anxiety, trying to persuade people of the importance of forming social networks.

Right there with you!

@artemis

The irony of being a very isolated person with severe social anxiety, trying to persuade people of the importance of forming social networks.

Right there with you!

So I'm going to take my new self-acceptance & look to connect with people without pretending to be anything that I'm not. If they are the people I need to be working with, they will not need me to mask in order to welcome me.

I'm also going to be aware of my strengths & weaknesses & avoid cruising toward burnout by as much as possible taking on the tasks I'm best suited for, not the ones I feel guilty about struggling with.

I will point out, it *can* be a little difficult finding the people doing good work out there, because—surprising no one—Google searches may not show you much of what you're looking for.

I just reached out to a church I know has done organizing/social justice work in the past in hopes that they could point me towards a community defense/ICE watch type of training in town.

If you can't find exactly what you're looking for, the next best thing may be to show up to *any* sort of helping people event, even if it's not run by people you envision working with long-term, because you will still be able to form connections to other people, some of whom are probably involved with other things they could also invite you to.

(Jeez. *I* sound like an infiltrator now. I'm not an infiltrator, I'm just autistic!)

Of course, having to take extra social steps to get connected sounds *exhausting* to me. So I'm not saying it's easy. I'm saying it's something that for some of us may be very hard, but it will help get us to the next level.

I have such anxiety about new social settings. I do really like meeting new people, especially people working for a better future, but it's still tough to do.

But the hardest part is getting started.

But not this time, motherfuckers. I'm going to show up for people in the ways *I* can. I'm not going to get mired in the supposed shame of being different (being *disabled*, in fact).

My disability means I am not good at some things that it may be expected "everyone" can do. So I need to accept that & expect other people to accept that too.

And like I said, don't try to volunteer to do things that will lead you into a flaming burnout.

It's very frustrating to me that I am not good at a lot of things it seems most people do with ease. I'm not just autistic! ADHD too! The executive dysfunction is off the charts!

So because I'm not good at things that "are supposed to be easy" I'm scared to enter new contexts, because I'm afraid I'll be perceived as lazy, flakey, or unwilling to help. It's one of my biggest fears.

Again, the people I need to connect with will be able to grasp the concept of "invisible" disabilities. If people don't want my help because they think disability makes me "lazy", those aren't the comrades I'm looking for.

I'm pretty severely disabled by AuDHD. I'm really lucky to be married to a man who helps me with some of the basics of maintenance for life that I struggle with (like eating food everyday).

I'm on here posting through shit because "focusing" on my job is a joke. I'm shit at it.

I struggle to remember things. I struggle to get up & dressed & going in the morning. I struggle to even get up the effort to take a shower sometimes.

I'm not playing on easy mode here. I still need the community.

I literally *forget to drink water*. That's how not-good I am at some of the things that other people do automatically. I barely manage to drink water & feed myself if left to my own devices. (I do manage to do it, but at the expense of energy I'd really like to spend elsewhere)

Who would it help to be angry at myself for my real limitations? I am done trying to fool people into thinking I don't have a disability.

I'm also planning to start showing up for people in more ways when I can.

Going new places & meeting new people? Oh, the fucking anxiety!

Going out into the community & finding comrades? That's a little better!

But seriously, we need to get fucking *serious* about networks of care & trust now, because the fash see us helping each other as a vulnerability they can exploit.

Unfortunately I can't tell you much more practical shit here, because I don't know shit about the practicalities of op-sec, but I do know we all need to learn.

Those things aren't contradictory. Acknowledging my limitations & leaning into my strengths is how I'm going to do this.

I am not going to carry pointless shame anymore, & I'm not going to pick up loads that are too heavy for me to carry.

That's not what anyone needs from me. They need me, giving my best, however I can.

@artemis

Here's my little tiny bit about op-sec I hope helps you.

If you aren't using Signal. Start using Signal. I mean for *everything* texting your family about picking up groceries? Signal. Texting your family about showing up to resistance training? Signal.

Figure out how to verify your Signal contacts. Basically in-person you scan some QR codes and then you know there's no man in the middle.

Recruit your new friends into Signal.

Do not settle for WhatsApp or Telegram.

Y'all, we're letting go of the shame that doesn't serve us & going forward in love.

We will push ourselves when necessary. It's going to be a big push for me to get myself more connected locally. That's a hard task I have to take on. It stresses me out, it feels so difficult, but I *know* the payoff is worth it a hundredfold.

What we will not do is push ourselves unnecessarily. We will not run our giving tank down to zero. We will care for ourselves. We will honor & accept our limitations.

@artemis

Send documents via Signal not Email.

Set your chats to have a disappearing messages timer by default. I use 4wks default but sometimes set it as low as 5min for some convos.

Get a copy of Tor Browser, and use it for research related to resistance.

DuckDuckGo has an .onion URL search link, use that in tor browser (it's a built in option I think).