You know, they say laughter is the best medicine.
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Assuming dnd 5e, obligatory mention that the caster is not supposed to choose what gets summoned with summoning spells. The caster picks a category (“8 creatures with CR etc etc”), and the GM determines what is summoned (“the GM has the creatures’ statistics”).
obligatory mention that fuck you i’m the caster i’m choosing so the GM has less to worry about they’re all magic flying cuttlefish
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What am I missing?
Beastmaster ranger
You magically summon a primal beast, which draws strength from your bond with nature. Choose its stat block: Beast of the Land, Beast of the Sea, or Beast of the Sky. You also determine the kind of animal it is, choosing a kind appropriate for the stat block. Whatever beast you choose, it bears primal markings indicating its supernatural origin.
Druid familiar summon
You gain the service of a familiar, a spirit that takes an animal form you choose: Bat, Cat, Frog, Hawk, Lizard, Octopus, Owl, Rat, Raven, Spider, Weasel, or another Beast that has a Challenge Rating of 0. Appearing in an unoccupied space within range, the familiar has the statistics of the chosen form, though it is a Celestial, Fey, or Fiend (your choice) instead of a Beast. Your familiar acts independently of you, but it obeys your commands.
Summon beast
You call forth a bestial spirit. It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range and uses the Bestial Spirit stat block. When you cast the spell, choose an environment: Air, Land, or Water. The creature resembles an animal of your choice that is native to the chosen environment, which determines certain details in its stat block. The creature disappears when it drops to 0 Hit Points or when the spell ends.
Weasel
!!!
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If you heal the downed paladin, you’ll only have 1 monkey.
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Ambiguous "they"s make it look like you want those monkeys to fellate the paladin
I could change it to not be ambiguous, but this is funny to me so I’m leaving it
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I could change it to not be ambiguous, but this is funny to me so I’m leaving it
Cure Wounds has a verbal component, but since the monkeys can’t speak they substitute an oral component
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The paladin
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If you heal the paladin what stops the enemies from downing him again before his next turn?
With 8 monkeys you’ve seriously contributed to the action economy and it’s going to take a lot of effort to kill them all, then you can revive the paladin.
Make a concentration check
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No you summon 8 wolves, pack tactics makes their attacks be at advantage… So useful.
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Excellent. My husband’s rpg group has a druid, he’s going to recommend summoning 8 monkeys now for all situations.
You will absolutely not regret summoning eight monkeys.
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What am I missing?
Beastmaster ranger
You magically summon a primal beast, which draws strength from your bond with nature. Choose its stat block: Beast of the Land, Beast of the Sea, or Beast of the Sky. You also determine the kind of animal it is, choosing a kind appropriate for the stat block. Whatever beast you choose, it bears primal markings indicating its supernatural origin.
Druid familiar summon
You gain the service of a familiar, a spirit that takes an animal form you choose: Bat, Cat, Frog, Hawk, Lizard, Octopus, Owl, Rat, Raven, Spider, Weasel, or another Beast that has a Challenge Rating of 0. Appearing in an unoccupied space within range, the familiar has the statistics of the chosen form, though it is a Celestial, Fey, or Fiend (your choice) instead of a Beast. Your familiar acts independently of you, but it obeys your commands.
Summon beast
You call forth a bestial spirit. It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range and uses the Bestial Spirit stat block. When you cast the spell, choose an environment: Air, Land, or Water. The creature resembles an animal of your choice that is native to the chosen environment, which determines certain details in its stat block. The creature disappears when it drops to 0 Hit Points or when the spell ends.
a primal beast
an animal form
a bestial spirit
None of those are 8 animals
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You failed your check: your druid forgot what he was about to do with the downed paladin and tries to summon 8 monkeys.
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You failed your check: your druid forgot what he was about to do with the downed paladin and tries to summon 8 monkeys.
That’s what I wanted to do though.
Are there any nearby barrels?
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