For anyone else who needs it:

Mage hand. Target: testicles.

Bad plan, wizards are usually very squishy.

Good plan, the wizard makes a better shield/weapon when they stop squirming (aka die)

Wouldn’t carrying an actual shield be easier and be more durable?

I’m sorry, is this some NPC thing I’m too Barbarian to understand?

Probably.

Wizard: I shall also wear armour.

Fantasy lore: no, you can’t wear that.

Wizard: why? I’m going to be fighting too. I don’t want to get stabbed by the first guy I see and die.

Fantasy lore: no, it wouldn’t be fair on the giant dragon or the deamons I’m sending you to fight. Enjoy your robe.

Ponder the blue orb balls

Check his pockets, he might have a phylactery.

A fun thing people often forget about Mage Armor is that you can cast it on other people, which is occasionally even helpful!

That’s why my oblivion play through is a wizard with a shield and heavy armor.

honestly it’s a damn shame battle mages aren’t standard, it’s such a cool concept
Imagine shields specifically designed for use with magic, with a slot cut out on the side for your hand to be exposed so you can cast spells

I mean, I could see it was a screenshot from another social media.