MFW ex quipped that out in that moment when my mind was fumbling to think of complex math problems, baseball commentary, “Margaret Thatcher on a cold day”, etc. for their benefit.

Oh, the sparkle in their eyes was certainly telling, but I’m not sure if they expected it to work quite so well, or so immediately.

FAFO, I guess?

My dm never let me play as a terrasque

Dear DMs: if you take yourself too seriously, I will murder you.

Rogue is worse. I played a rogue for a while and it didn’t really deliver a great experience. Every combat was “I shoot, move, cunning action hide”.

Scouting was largely outclassed by the wizard’s familiar, and even more so the pact of the chain familiar. Splitting the party is tedious and risky.

One GM tried to make a system to abstract scouting- you’d make some checks and get information and maybe trouble. But that guy liked PbtA way more than me, and it clearly influenced his design, because pretty much every time you used this system something bad would happen. I don’t play these games to be a fuck up. I want to be exceedingly competent in my niche.

I guess some of that is up to individual GM style, but I think some of it is on the system itself.

What are you going to do, fart on them?

I would let you, but only as a lawful good peace cleric

Suggestion can be twinned if need be

The people who want to do 1500 dmg/turn probably want to be playing 3.5

Way better as an npc. There is no man straight enough to straighten out a campaign with daily Armpits Esquire. She’s the cherry on the top of the cherry on top of the cherry on top of the sundae

give them stage 3 pink eye

Doctor Farts: ooo! i leveled up and got cloudkill!

Unless your DM is a stickler for the updated 2024 rules, then in that case it can’t, because they changed Twinned Spell to require that the spell let you target additional creatures when cast at higher levels, which Suggestion does not.

Beyond disappointed that none of our resident fart accounts have commented in this thread. Clearly the clarion call of the wind broken by the fart golems haven’t yet echoed deep enough into the halls of lemmy to reach their noses.

FartsWithAnAccent
fartographer@lemmy.world
i_fart_glitter@lemmy.world
SatansMaggotyCumFart

Am definitely surprised by I_Fart_Glitter considering I know them personally lol

That’s it, your character is now wearing the magical plug of deflated bloating. It gives the wearer permanent relief from meteorism at the cost of -15 agility

My old Dm Used to occasionally run a game where everyone rolled a pc that could fit into a cartoon show, and every game was an episode of this cartoon show.

I played an anime inspired character that could turn into a robot for no reason that was ever explained, and sometimes he gained the ability to turn into different kind of robots. The character never shut up about the power of friendship, and had an ever-evolving backstory that made less and less sense as we played more one shots, including:

1. He was his own father somehow
2. he had to go go to the future to make this happen for some reason
3. he was searching for his sibling so that he could stop him from becoming my pc. His sibling was from the future and had travelled back to the past, so that he could kill my pc
4. he could telepathically communicate with plants using the power of friendship. The plants had nothing to say because they were plants
5. his father was some kind of evil god. Somehow he was still his own father. The contradiction was never explained at all
6. There was an orb in his chest that contained the source of all friendship in the universe that he could use to launch friendship based attacks for some reason

There were more details I can’t recall. When I spoke it was always long rambling monologues that sounded like terrible dubbing.

Hey don’t leave out my name sibling

fartsparkles@lemmy.world

Some may not like it but this is what the perfect campaign looks like

Ah, but you also know that much as I would like to, I have no experience with RPGs.

I’m intimidated by all the rules and details and worry that an old, though sparkly fart like me would fair as well as a boomer trying a smart phone for the first time. ‍️

Who can murder someone with a PC this excellent?

Professor Belvedere “Fartsparkles” Tinkletuft was once a respected lecturer at the Neverwinter Arcane Academy. His groundbreaking research into “transmogrified odoriferous manifestations” (or, as the students called it, fart magic) was dismissed as childish and “in poor taste.”

In protest, the Professor vowed to prove that flatulence is the ultimate illusion. Through alchemical experimentation, he discovered how to weaponize his digestive essence into arcane displays — clouds of glittering gas, illusionary stink beasts, and even gaseous duplicates of himself.

Now he roams the realms, performing “scientific demonstrations” and occasionally saving the world — usually by accident.