How did the squirrels get flying?!?

Honestly the second text box should be removed. It’s just restating the previous panel

I personally needed to see the squirrels to understand what the implications of the text were. It’s a string of unusual words otherwise.

I can think of a couple cards that could accomplish that

Wonder would give all creatures flying when it’s in your graveyard

You could also use Coat of Arms + Abzan falconer to give your army of squirrels a bunch of +1/+1 counters since they’re all the same type. Falconer means that everything with a +1/+1 counter will have flying. Both of these aren’t green though, so you’d need a hybrid deck or some kind.

Eldrazi Monument and Akroma’s memorial would also give flying, and are colorless to boot. Eldrazi monument makes you sacrifice a creature each turn though (not a huge deal with how many squirrels you can get). Akroma’s memorial doesn’t have any downsides, but is 7 mana which is decently expensive.

I’m sure there are other ways but this is what I can think of.

they have no clue about squirells

So I haven’t played since sixth edition… are squirrels that are ‘tokens’ considered permanents? I seem to recall the squirrels shenanigans involving doubling each turn, so if you had enough to block eldrazi, you could have enough to survive the annihilator as well.

Yes, anything on the battlefield counts as a permanent.

I mean if you have a doubling amount of them, you need enough that you can lose 7 per turn and still recover. So you need at least 7 to begin with, and you could block forever.

The real flaw with the comic is that Emrakul has flying, so squirrels can’t block it anyway, unless you give them all flying.

Really though, it’s meant to be a game-winning card. It does so much that it’s very hard to survive and recover if it’s on the board.

Frankly, if you know enough to understand the joke, you can get rid of every second text box in the comic.

I want to reject any +1/+1 boosts, otherwise we don’t block with 15 squirrels. We use 8.

I otherwise like monument as an answer, though I feel like Emrakul should no longer be surprised.

all thanks to the squirrel totem of course, not the most effective but for sure amusing (inscryption reference)