You know what’s B.S.?

That Nintendo’s NES version of Tetris is considered the “classic” Tetris—the one used in world championships, treated like it’s the purest expression of the game.

It’s not even the first Tetris. That was the Elektronika 60 version from 1984—no graphics, just Soviet brackets falling on a green screen. That’s the one Alexey Pajitnov actually made.

It’s not even the first officially licensed version in the West. That was Spectrum Holobyte’s 1987 DOS release, which wrapped Tetris in Cold War aesthetics and basically introduced it to the Western world.

It’s not even Nintendo’s best Tetris. That would be the Game Boy version. It played better, felt better, and got bundled with a global phenomenon. Everyone played that one.

It’s not even the best NES version. That would be Tengen Tetris—the one Atari released before Nintendo sued them into the void. It had multiplayer, better mechanics, and a way more polished feel. Nintendo’s version is a stripped-down solo mode with stiff controls and zero flair.

It’s not even the most played. That honor goes to EA’s mobile version from the 2000s, which quietly made hundreds of millions while people tapped away on their flip phones.

So why is this version—the clunky, solo-only NES cart from 1989—held up as the “classic”?

Because retro gamers have an irrational bias toward Nintendo and the NES. Full stop.

If it was on a Nintendo console, it’s sacred. If it wasn’t, it gets memory-holed. It doesn’t matter that better versions existed—even on the same system. If it came in a grey cartridge with the Nintendo seal of quality, that’s all it takes to become canon.

“Classic” Tetris isn’t about history, or gameplay, or cultural impact. It’s just another byproduct of NES worship.