Okay, so there's like this flower shop and it is very slavic. There is a choleric bearded dude who is the main flower dude. And a babushka looking lady who might be his wife.

A dentist calls while inflicting a tooth pain to order some flowers and that is funny. Then a younger guy in a newsie cap appears by tripping on something, then kills a flower. He is an employee of the flower shop and also a fuck up and the main flower dude wants to fire him.

#monsterdon

The newsie cap guy says he has a secret weapon that is a fancy flower that will convince the main flower dude to not fire him. Then he goes to visit his mom, who is in bed and is listening to a radio show called "Music for Invalids" which I thought was funny. Then he gives his mom a snake oil cure, which is basically just alcohol and she is grateful because she can get drunk now.

Then newsie cap has to wander off to find his fancy plant.

#monsterdon

I appreciate how the old lady mother wants the newsie son to get a newspaper so she can do a self-diagnosis contest, the winner of which can go to... the Mayo Clinic.

#monsterdon

Okay, so newsie shows the main flower guy and two randos his flower, which he says he got from a Japanese gardener by a cranberry farm or something. He named the plant "Audrey Junior" after another employee who he likes, because she is nice and has boobs. She is flattered that the plant is named after her.

He is sad that it is dying because he can't figure out what to feed it. Uh oh.

#monsterdon

Okay so newsie begs the plant to do good and grow up big and strong, then goes to bed. when he wakes up, the plant looks like a pac-man on its side and it bites him, convincing him that the plant likes blood. So he cuts himself and gives the plant blood.

Now the plant is bigger now and the shop owner and the love interest is happy and gives newsie a raise. he lies and says his fingers were each stung by a bee.

#monsterdon

A pair of randomly generated lesbians wander into the shop, with $2000 to spend on dollars, because they're building a float for a parade, and they stop to admire the plant. Then it turns out that they're not lesbians, because they glomp newsie after discovering how good his flower skills are.

Then they leave, and the shop owner talks about how rich he will be and how they will move the shop to a better neighborhood and then audrey announces that they will have an orchestra too.

#monsterdon

I think I'm enjoying this movie because none of the character interactions are what you would expect. Every conversation is like a stream of shitposts that the characters take very seriously.

#monsterdon

Okay, so the next night the pac man plant starts talking and yelling "feed me" to which newsie replies "omg you can talk" and then monologues at him, but apologizes that he ran out of fingers. But the plant wants blood so that doesn't persuade it.

Newsie then goes for a walk to think of how to feed his carnivorous plant.
#monsterdon

On newsie's walk he accidentally murders a guy. I forgot why, but he wasn't trying to, but for some reason he threw a thing at a dude and then the dude was squished by a train.

Naturally he takes the guy's body and then feeds it to his talking plant, which is just screaming "feed me!" and we see him feeding an arm to the plant.

#monsterdon

Meanwhile, the shop owner is at a restaurant on a date with Audrey who is hotter than him, but he doesn't have enough money to pay, upsetting the waitress. He apologizes that he has receipts in his cash register worth nine dollars but the waiter insists that he gets it.

On his way back to the store, he sees the newsie singing christmas carols while he feeds a dead body into his plant, which gives him a TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. He escapes unobserved.

#monsterdon

On the return to the restaurant, Shop Owner orders all the alcohol and tells Audrey that he saw a shop murder. He pledges to go tell the police tomorrow. But the Beat Cop Voiceover tells us that he did not, in fact, go to the police, because that would have resolved the problem.

It turns out that the shop has a lot of business the next day because the carnivorous plant has made lots of flowers or something and now they are rich.

#monsterdon

Shop Owner accosts Newsie, who he knows is a murderer, but who also has a toothache. He asks what type of plant it is, and Newsie says its a Venus Fly Trap but doesn't think it needs to eat again. This gives shopowner an unspoken excuse to not turn in Newsie for murder, as he can now pretend that the plant won't eat anyone else.

Newsie, whose real name is Seymour I guess, has to go to the dentist, at which he sees another patient run screaming out of the office.

#monsterdon

Characters in this #monsterdon

Newsie aka Seymour (main human character, murders people on accident)
Flesh Eating Plant (main monster character)
Slavic Shop Owner (tragic flaw: greed)
Audrey aka Love Interest for every character (virtue: orchestral improv)
Random Guys (various)
Sadistic Dentist
Babushka
Girls Needing Float Flowers
Uncomfortable Undertaker
Beat Cop Voiceover

Okay, so Newsie doesn't want to go to the dentist, so naturally he gets in a dental equipment fight and murders his dentist by accident. Then an Awkward Undertaker with Toothpain appears and Newsie pretends to be the dentist so the Undertaker will stop sitting in the lobby reading a magazine about pain, then he drills random teeth until the pain stops.

Then Newsie takes the dentists' body and feeds it to the murder plant apologetically.

#monsterdon

Newsie returns to the plant shop and the plant is bigger now. Shop Owner is concerned, because this implies murder happened. Love Interest thinks that Newsie is hot (I guess because his... plant... is very big) and he asks her out, so they agree to go on a date.

Then a lady appears because her son burned himself to death with matches and she needs to buy flowers I guess. This distracts newsie.

#monsterdon

Some cops appear, looking for a missing dentist and a missing guy squished by a train. Shop Owner pretends to cooperate but acts Extremely Suspicious, but the cops are stupid and decide that he knows nothing so they leave. He asks Newsie to make sure that the plant doesn't grow more; Newsie said it at 3000 japanese beetles.

Then a fancy lady appears and expresses horticultural interest in the giant plant, asking if there will be more. Her names is "Fishtwangler", which is cool.

#monsterdon

Anyway, Miss Fishtwangler is giving Newsie an award for being good at growing giant plants and will return tomorrow with a trophy.

Every random character in the shop applauds newsie for this, emphasizing his tragic flaw (being tempted by the high status of praise, which I guess leads him to accidental murder).

#monsterdon

Audrey comes to visit Seymour, introducing her to his mom and the two of them hang out at his mom's house. Because nothing in this movie is normal, the mom offers her cure to Audrey, which she says tastes like cough syrup. She corrects that it is Doctor (So-and-So's) cough syrup. The two dine on liver oil, which the mother has to cure her liver or something.

#monsterdon

Back at the cursed flower shop, Shop Owner is taking a nap, then the plant wakes him up by shouting "Feed Me!". Shop Owner, being unwilling to (directly) murder anyone yells back at the plant, who says it wants to eat him because he looks chonky. Then shop owner goes back to sleep.

#monsterdon

Newsie and his mom have a weird conversation where Newsie says he wants to marry Audrey, but his Mom says he's too young to marry and should play around more first and also he needs to get her an iron lung before he can get married, even though she can breathe fine.

#monsterdon