What the actual fuck.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
SpaceX Eyes 1 Million Satellites for Orbital Data Center Push
In a late Friday FCC filing, the company mentions deploying a staggering 'one million satellites' in orbits ranging from 500 kilometers to 2,000km.
PCMag Australia (au.pcmag.com)
@sundogplanets One… million… satellites!? 🤯
Even ignoring all the *other* issues…
I imagine those wouldn't exactly be tiny cubesats. So how does 30 per launch sound? Build enough of those satellites and launchers to maintain a launch cadence of one launch per day, and that kind of a constellation is *90 years off* per my calculator. Assuming no failed launches and no failures in-orbit and no replacements needed for that time, naturally. And they'll cram all that into sun-synch orbits? WTAF?
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets not that it matters, but it also wouldn't budge a thing in the kardashev scale, as it's supposed to measure how much power civilization can harness, and they certainly would pale in comparison to the total amount of earth based computing power, not to mention all the power used in non-computing usage
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@dougwade @sundogplanets so... I should design incendiary rounds is what you're saying?
At this point the only way out is through, unless someone wants to build giant nets to try and clean up space debris
@kwayk42 @dougwade @sundogplanets um actually, giant nets are a order of magnitude better idea that shooting satellites. Grapple arms and foam are also options. /srs
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@sundogplanets that's it... Imma build a rail gun that can shoot down those satellites
@kwayk42 Nudge one a kilometer off position and hello our old friend Kessler.
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@kwayk42 @dougwade @sundogplanets um actually, giant nets are a order of magnitude better idea that shooting satellites. Grapple arms and foam are also options. /srs
@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
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@sundogplanets
For the data centers.They will orbit in the sunrise line (I don't know how to call it) between 509 km and the sector where there's enough radiation to be unworthy.
Earth will have a ring
The sunrise/sunset line is the terminator. So, Sun-synchronous (i.e., passes every day at the same local solar time) LEO on the plane of the terminator.
Whatever it's called, it's a horrible idea. Want a ringed planet, you know where to find it. One of these days they will come up with a clever (?) plan to dismantle the Moon to give old Earth a ring too... until the rocks start colliding with each other and decaying into our atmosphere.
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@sundogplanets One… million… satellites!? 🤯
Even ignoring all the *other* issues…
I imagine those wouldn't exactly be tiny cubesats. So how does 30 per launch sound? Build enough of those satellites and launchers to maintain a launch cadence of one launch per day, and that kind of a constellation is *90 years off* per my calculator. Assuming no failed launches and no failures in-orbit and no replacements needed for that time, naturally. And they'll cram all that into sun-synch orbits? WTAF?
I really can't help but feel that someone, somewhere, saw the term "megaconstellation" and said "let's have an *actual* mega-constellation!"
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets I would ask if you were fucking serious and why the FCC hasn't thrown it out, but calling the people left there "clownshoes" is an unforgivable insult to the footwear of professional entertainers.
Also, worth noting, that isn't even fucking *ZERO* on the Kardashev because that's not even a goddamn relevant scale. Please somebody start fucking executing these techbro oligarchs to save the rest of us.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
SpaceX Eyes 1 Million Satellites for Orbital Data Center Push
In a late Friday FCC filing, the company mentions deploying a staggering 'one million satellites' in orbits ranging from 500 kilometers to 2,000km.
PCMag Australia (au.pcmag.com)
@sundogplanets at this number of satellites, we're in the domain where the Russians and Chinese might start shooting them down as they would take up orbital real estate for their own networks to compete with Starlink
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@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
@kwayk42 🤭🤍
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets They will absolutely rubber stamp it. The orange dictator will see to it.
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@sundogplanets They will absolutely rubber stamp it. The orange dictator will see to it.
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@sundogplanets The FCC is corrupt. What I don’t understand is how US gets to decide this for the world.
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@spycrab @dougwade @sundogplanets but I can still shoot them once they're caught in a net though right?
@kwayk42 @dougwade @sundogplanets if you shoot them they become a hazard for everything up there.
What's worse than a million starlinks
Several billion in trackable small starlinks -
"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
SpaceX Eyes 1 Million Satellites for Orbital Data Center Push
In a late Friday FCC filing, the company mentions deploying a staggering 'one million satellites' in orbits ranging from 500 kilometers to 2,000km.
PCMag Australia (au.pcmag.com)
@sundogplanets The CO2 footprint for the launches alone must be terrible?
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What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
SpaceX Eyes 1 Million Satellites for Orbital Data Center Push
In a late Friday FCC filing, the company mentions deploying a staggering 'one million satellites' in orbits ranging from 500 kilometers to 2,000km.
PCMag Australia (au.pcmag.com)
The world's most heartbreaking six-word stories:
1906: For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.
2026: Orbital data centers for artificial intelligence.
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I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social
Added to my To Read list.
Enjoy the sunrise and birdies. Hope you got a bit of sleep
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@sundogplanets that's it... Imma build a rail gun that can shoot down those satellites
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"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
Bezos: Oh yeah? Well AWS will put TWO million data centers in orbit!
China: Let 5 million space data centers bloom!
Musk: Well, then SpaceX will put TEN million centers in orbit!
Bezos: Fine! ELEVENTY million AWS centers!
Musk: Hah! TWELVETY million SpaceX centers! Each with a cool robot!
Bezos: Meh-meh-meh-robot-meh. Amazon has robots.
Musk: But not COOL robots.
🤬
