You know, I'm prepared to accept that Seward is probably intended to be our protagonist, and Frankenstein the antagonist,

but I literally could not tell you a single actual thing about either character.

Like, these people are CYPHERS. #Monsterdon

"Do not be afraid, I am here"

Yeah, that's the PROBLEM #Monsterdon

And now for a little light wax play. #Monsterdon

You are feeling veeeeeeeery sleepy...

Or is that just me? #Monsterdon

...The soul of your ancient *dentist*? Did I hear that right? #Monsterdon

Chief you got fifteen minutes to slay Dracula, Frankenstein, AND his monster, and like half a dozen Femme Vamps. I don't think it's gonna work out unless you got an unregistered flamethrower. #Monsterdon

TALK

FASTER.

#Monsterdon

...The camera's moving? I don't believe it, this shot was actually PLANNED, wow #Monsterdon

...Points off for the conspicuous Volkswagen under the sheet there, tho #Monsterdon

Angelina Jolie rises for the midnight shift... #Monsterdon

Oh man, lady, do NOT eat Torgo, surely there's something crawling on the ground that'll be a more hygenic meal for you #Monsterdon

What is it about Vampires that they all leave their empties lying around? Clean up after yourselves, y'litter bugs! #Monsterdon

Ten minutes left. This movie's gonna end with an abruptness usually seen only in car crashes. >_> #Monsterdon

I kinda want to go back through this movie and count the number of actual lines of spoken dialogue. I'm not sure it'd crack double digits. #Monsterdon

"He will come tonight."

Yeah, the director's lewd like that. #Monsterdon

...wolfman

are you sHITTING ME SERIOUSLY

YOU CAN'T INTRODUCE A THIRD MONSTER

IN THE LAST *FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES OF A MOVIE*

FUCKING FOUL!! #Monsterdon

I haven't felt this insulted by a movie since The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy and its 80% Flashback Runtime. >_> #Monsterdon

Het! Hup! Ha! Hoo! Wooop! #Monsterdon

So, this is rock paper scissors, right?

Frankenstein beats Wolfman, who beats Dracula, who beats Frankenstein? #Monsterdon

Also I was right

Five minutes left, and the fight finally starts.

The similarities to The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy are really piling up here. #Monsterdon