"Who are you?"

No clue. The plot's as clear as mud. #Monsterdon

Okay the ONE cool thing about this film -- the neon cross. In a better film that would be a symbol of the meeting of the religious and the technological. #Monsterdon

"...Hitler?"

Okay, that was funny. #Monsterdon

Man, these are some weak-ass vampires here. Ken just tossin' 'em about. #Monsterdon

Let's hear it for the birds on the soundtrack! Good job, birds! #Monsterdon

It's a tweest! Sorta. #Monsterdon

And the movie ends as it began.

Incomprehensibly. #Monsterdon

I get the strong impression that Vampire on Bikini Beach would have done *severe* psychological damage to me if it had actually been comprehensible at all. #Monsterdon

Like, that movie bounced off. No contact at all.

Like, that movie bounced off. No contact at all.

I wonder what the moon is doing now. #Monsterdon

NOT SINCE ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE HAS SO LITTLE TALENT BEEN FOCUSED ON THE SAME PRODUCTION AT THE SAME TIME

#Monsterdon

See, Vampire on Bikini Beach is bad in the way of earnest, genuine incompetence. Nobody involved in the making of this film knew a god damn thing, and yet they made a movie! In a way, it's commendable.

Werewolf of Washington and Godmonster of Indian Flats are bad movies in the tradition of clods who think they're making Important Artwork. They're gonna sit you down and learn you a thing, you better appreciate that.

I'll willingly sit through six Vampire on Bikini Beaches before ONE Werewolf of Washington. #Monsterdon

Anyway, I need a shower. Bleyuch #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe are you watching vampires on Bikini Beach or are you watching ann Austin Powers film tonight?