open a gate… Bottom of the ocean

How do you feel about goblins, by the way?

So, the problem isn’t how much water but how much time?

Become lich, be immortal, problem solved.

Now it’s a race between you and the heat death of the universe or pissing off some God of the Sea for fucking up their backyard.

So, the problem isn’t how much water but how much time?

Become lich, be immortal, problem solved.

Now it’s a race between you and the heat death of the universe or pissing off some God of the Sea for fucking up their backyard.

Creativity = Killing everyone by taking great liberties in interpreting spells

Assuming a level 20 druid, you’d have 32 slots 1 or above, 2 gallons per caster level so 40 gallons per cast, that’s 1,280 gallons per day or however fast you can regain spells. A bit shy of half a million gallons in a year. A particularly long-lived elf could destroy 280 million gallons before keeling over.

Now it depends how big the world you’re on is, but if it’s earth-like, the smallest ocean on earth is… 4.9 quintillion gallons.

4,900,000,000,000,000,000

So while you wouldn’t make a dent, a character with an irrational war against the ocean is hilarious and you should do it anyway.

wait wait wait

could i just kinda put a stick on the mouth of a bag of holding and throw it in the ocean? (the stick is for keeping it open)

then i could throw a bunch of those in the ocean, and it’ll at least help destroy it.

if this works like i think it does, i’ll get something that lets me craft bags of holding, and i’ll just spend the rest of every day (after casting destroy water) crafting bags of holding to throw into the ocean

also, don’t worry about age. i am going to become a lich like someone suggested, so that i can just stay there, destroying the ocean very, very slowly, forever.

and please correct me if anything i said isn’t possible!

wait wait wait

could i just kinda put a stick on the mouth of a bag of holding and throw it in the ocean? (the stick is for keeping it open)

then i could throw a bunch of those in the ocean, and it’ll at least help destroy it.

if this works like i think it does, i’ll get something that lets me craft bags of holding, and i’ll just spend the rest of every day (after casting destroy water) crafting bags of holding to throw into the ocean

also, don’t worry about age. i am going to become a lich like someone suggested, so that i can just stay there, destroying the ocean very, very slowly, forever.

and please correct me if anything i said isn’t possible!

@SkyezOpen I think I miss a reference because I don't see any connection, sorry

i will get to a level where i have as many slots of destroy water as possible, and i will spend the rest of my life casting destroy water on the ocean, until it is completely dry. is that something i’d be able to do, or is that not possible? (i play pathfinder, not d&d, so i don’t know)

Bags of holding are not infinitely sized, just big

For the amount of money you’d waste throwing bags into the ocean, you’d probably be better off hiring people to cast destroy water.

After awhile, Poseiden comes and kicks your ass until you stop. Live by the magic sword, die by the magic sword.

wait wait wait

could i just kinda put a stick on the mouth of a bag of holding and throw it in the ocean? (the stick is for keeping it open)

then i could throw a bunch of those in the ocean, and it’ll at least help destroy it.

if this works like i think it does, i’ll get something that lets me craft bags of holding, and i’ll just spend the rest of every day (after casting destroy water) crafting bags of holding to throw into the ocean

also, don’t worry about age. i am going to become a lich like someone suggested, so that i can just stay there, destroying the ocean very, very slowly, forever.

and please correct me if anything i said isn’t possible!

cast Gate on the bottom of the ocean

20ft wide portal to whatever other plane you want to dump the ocean in

at the bottom of the mariana trench you’d get some 200,000,000 gallons per minute through that sucker

it’ll still take more than 3 million years (per very naive, optimistic napkin math) to drain all the oceans but you can probably find other people to join your mad ocean destruction cult over that time and get things going in parallel

the real question is: where are you putting all this water

Why can’t I destroy all the water in a human’s body?

How about Enlarge Spell with Create Water to kill them with the entire weight of an Olympic sized swimming pool falling onto them from 20 feet in the air?