I keep expecting Captain Gordon to say, "Itsa ME, MARIO!"

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All we've taught the aliens is they need to impersonate UN members who don't have dogs

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Uh, that's cattle ARE stupid, thank you very much

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I like how Hollywood movies rely on guns and then bigger guns, and still bigger guns, an ever-increasing magnitude of gunnage, while in this movie it's reasonably-sized guns, then an ever-increasing skill level of gymnastics.

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This is why it's important to buy shoes where you can replace the soles

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We have an hour left

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"So why didn't they gain control over me?"

How do we know they didn't? Anyone got his dog?

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Mario reminiscing

"I used to drive around this track, see, and the monsters, you should have SEEN the monsters...."

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"This mission will decide the fate of humanity. It's Operation Final War."

I guess we didn't hire him for his creative naming conventions

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(We hired him because he KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE)

#ItsaMeMario

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Hahahaha the guys at the South Pole are drinking espresso, wearing ironic Hawaiian shirts and listening to big band music, I kinda love them

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AND THAT'S JENGA

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It's like our greatest peril is also our greatest defense, we shall be saved by what we fear the most - this is so deeply philosophical or something

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I mean if we have to destroy the Sydney Opera House that's a pretty awesome way to go

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It'd be funny if Godzilla were arachnophobic and screamed like I do

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Giant pissy insects destroying crucial transportation infrastructure realistically feels like something future people will have to be concerned about

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