OUCH!
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They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
I sat in a near-empty cinema for Melania - here's what I thought
Journalist Kimberley Bond was one of only a handful of people at her screening of the controversial new documentary about the life of the First Lady.
Metro (metro.co.uk)
Amusing coincidence: Kimberley Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter making someone watch that for their job should be an OSHA violation.
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OUCH! "Itโs one of those rare, unicorn films that doesnโt have a single redeeming quality. Iโm not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross Iโm looking forward to seeing the box office numbers on this one
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OUCH! "Itโs one of those rare, unicorn films that doesnโt have a single redeeming quality. Iโm not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch"
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE} -
@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE} -
The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}That's it. Then we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon.
Please share!
UPDATE:
IT'S WORKING. This book is now the EIGHTH result on Amazon when you search for Melania Trump. We are going UP!!! KEEP SHARING! -
@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter making someone watch that for their job should be an OSHA violation.
I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk Who on Earth were those three people in Islington? And are they alright afterwards? https://mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/melania-trump-suffers-humiliating-blow-36629616 #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
Melania Trump documentary sells just 16 tickets in Scotland for opening day
The low sales reflect a global trend of disinterest in Melania, a feature-length documentary produced by Amazon.
Daily Record (dailyrecord.co.uk)
Laughing at Melania's ticket sales? You might be missing the point
Dire box office sales surrounding the US first lady's bio-doc have made headlines, but some argue there's likely a good reason Jeff Bezos's Amazon MGM Studios has splashed so much cash on MELANIA.
(abc.net.au)
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@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter making someone watch that for their job should be an OSHA violation.
@arrrg @JdeBP @GetCarter There is no OSHA in the UK. (Different laws, different enforcement regime.)
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They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
I sat in a near-empty cinema for Melania - here's what I thought
Journalist Kimberley Bond was one of only a handful of people at her screening of the controversial new documentary about the life of the First Lady.
Metro (metro.co.uk)
Amusing coincidence: Kimberley Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetroJust checked the local Vue bookings.
Melania 5 showings, 6 tickets. One pair in three showing, two showings empty.
Sponge Bob Square Pants (Could be another Trump film from the title) 4 showings, 48 tickets.
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That's it. Then we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon.
Please share!
UPDATE:
IT'S WORKING. This book is now the EIGHTH result on Amazon when you search for Melania Trump. We are going UP!!! KEEP SHARING!@503bartley @cstross the author's picture is the police sketch of D.B. Cooper, which I very much appreciate.
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H HeinousTugboat shared this topic
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@503bartley @cstross the author's picture is the police sketch of D.B. Cooper, which I very much appreciate.
@503bartley @cstross oh my fuckin' god look at his other titles XD
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The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross plus, it's always good to support D B Cooper in his second, lower risk but less financially rewarding, career
-
@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_searchGet in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross Clickable link to Reddit: https://old.reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_search/
And direct link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H
-
That's it. Then we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon.
Please share!
UPDATE:
IT'S WORKING. This book is now the EIGHTH result on Amazon when you search for Melania Trump. We are going UP!!! KEEP SHARING!@503bartley @cstross Itโs number 2 as of 30 seconds ago, for me at least
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@503bartley @cstross Itโs number 2 as of 30 seconds ago, for me at least
@UweHalfHand @503bartley @cstross For me too. #2 for both "Melania" and "Melania Trump".
It's rising on Amazon Germany too. #3 for "Melania" and #4 for "Melania Trump".
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The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}@503bartley @cstross it's free but you need an amazon account... well I might create one to buy a free book.
Also, is it just "free as in beer" or also free from digital restriction management?
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@cstross
The review attributed to Variety seemed helpful:
If it was shown on an aircraft people would still walk out. -
@503bartley @cstross Clickable link to Reddit: https://old.reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_search/
And direct link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H
@jernej__s @503bartley @cstross
Yeah....but egregores !
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That's it. Then we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon.
Please share!
UPDATE:
IT'S WORKING. This book is now the EIGHTH result on Amazon when you search for Melania Trump. We are going UP!!! KEEP SHARING!@503bartley @cstross in the UK for me, the book was on the second page last night. Itโs is now 20th on the first page, and about halfway down! Keep up the amazing work everyone!
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@cstross
However, if we assume the purpose was to give Ms Trump $30M (a contribution to her Running Away Fund?) then it presumably counts as a success.There is a school of thought on that, made into another movie documentary by Mel Brooks before I was even born. (-:
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
In this Post-Stross Universe, where fiction is now the upper bound on how positive the future will be, we are watching the plot of #MelBrooks's 1967 movie _The Producers_ play out in real time. The audience has yet to start laughing at #Amazon's cunning scheme to give a bung to #DonaldJTrump via a disastrous #Melania movie about the rise to power of a monarch and his consort. https://mastodon.scot/@JdeBP/115986124726085280 #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #SpringTimeForHitler #TheProducers #PostStrossUniverse #fascism
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
#MelBrooks #SpringTimeForHitler #TheProducers #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies
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I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
JdeBP (@JdeBP@mastodon.scot)
@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk Who on Earth were those three people in Islington? And are they alright afterwards? https://mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/melania-trump-suffers-humiliating-blow-36629616 #Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington
mastodon.scot (mastodon.scot)
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
Melania Trump documentary sells just 16 tickets in Scotland for opening day
The low sales reflect a global trend of disinterest in Melania, a feature-length documentary produced by Amazon.
Daily Record (dailyrecord.co.uk)
Laughing at Melania's ticket sales? You might be missing the point
Dire box office sales surrounding the US first lady's bio-doc have made headlines, but some argue there's likely a good reason Jeff Bezos's Amazon MGM Studios has splashed so much cash on MELANIA.
(abc.net.au)
This guy is delusional. This was a bribe to curry favour.
"Documentary filmmaker Stefano Da Frรจ, who was not involved in the project told CNN that Amazon would have done their homework before making that kind of outlay, explaining that Amazon โis a data-driven company.
โWith all their tools, all their AI, Amazon Web Services โ they didnโt just come up with that number randomly,โ he said. โThey believe, through their metrics, that itโs worth that amount.โ
