Try one in your world today
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I can’t see any of these working as intended. Clowns don’t subscribe to reality
Spawn them as a distraction!
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don’t want to be seen.
Use them to hide!
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes…
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Shaving cream pies. Ain’t nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
Air drop them on their enemies!
See balloons
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
Clown car logic. You’re all “crushed” but it’s just extremely difficult terrain.
Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what’s their EXP value?
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Bag of Communal Holding
Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
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Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Probably bad that without the parentheses, I was already assuming this was some kind of horrific Sweeny Todd situation.
That’s just practical thinking right here! Someone else argued for shaving cream pies, which naturally leads to the counterpoint of cannibalism.
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Bead of (Uncomfortable) Nourishment: Standard effect, but must be taken nasally. Oral absorption may cause permanent magical flatus.
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Arrows of Accuracy: These arrows will always hit. Starting from the target, then out from that point, the hit roll is checked against defenses.
If nobody is hit, the arrow strikes the firer.
Can just imagine the arrow running around like a terrifying game of duck duck goose
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Ring of (Logical) Invisibility v2. Makes you invisible except for your eye balls so that they can absorb light. You may now see but you appear as a pair of floating eyeballs.
An additional note here. With no visible eyelids, and nothing visible to protect the back of the eye, bright lights would be extremely painful.
So either double blinding effects of light based attacks, or halve the saves vs the same.
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A magic sword that can instantly kill anything it touches but it’s stuck in it sheath and can’t be removed.
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Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what’s their EXP value?
Immortal Clowns of Jest. Zero XP and their death only fuels development of further abilities
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Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Probably bad that without the parentheses, I was already assuming this was some kind of horrific Sweeny Todd situation.
No, but the pies are a bit off, so they always give you the runs.
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Flawed bag of holding - it’s a bag of holding, but the dimensions inside are normal bag sized.
Movable rod - an immovable rod, but it can only resist up to 10lbs
Bed of comfort - it’s comfortable, just not the way you were hoping.
Vorple blade - it’s exactly what it is, but it’s too dull to cut and sharpening it would damage the enchantment.
So for the sword… Bludgeoning damage unless it’s a crit, and then the enchantment does it’s thing regardless of the sharpness?
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Immovable Rod: Only one end of the rod is fixed in space, the other end swings freely.
Immovable Rod: when activated, it becomes fixed in its position in space, ignoring the motion of the planet. The moment it’s activated, it flies off into the sky or through the earth depending on the time of day, destroying everything in its path.
Potentially extremely useful with a lot of planning, once.
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Caltrops of Seeking. Drawn to metal and increase chance to damage/hit metal boots.
They stick together though and must be manually placed one by one over an extended period of time.
Wouldn’t metal boots protect your feet from the caltrops?
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Immovable Rod: Only one end of the rod is fixed in space, the other end swings freely.
Immovable pendulum
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Wand of Fireball: has a medium chance of shooting a stream of cinnamon whiskey.
Imagine if they rolled the whiskey thing whenever they tried to use it. Then at the local tavern “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!”
(Dice clatter)
TPK.
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Not quite the same, but a Paladin in a campaign I was in once bought a Shield of Missile Attraction for cheap because the shopkeep thought it was cursed.
I hope while they were walking around, a projectile would just donk right into their shield on occasion, just to keep them on their toes.
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So for the sword… Bludgeoning damage unless it’s a crit, and then the enchantment does it’s thing regardless of the sharpness?
I was thinking a secret -2 to crit so it only actually crits on a nat 20
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Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what’s their EXP value?
They just despawn and it’s 1/10^(78) xp per clown.
A fraction of 1 EP for each atom in the universe.
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I have two I will be using in my next campaign:
Ring of attunement: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (Requires attunement)
Event Staff: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any “employees only” areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.
ETA: One from the current campaign in which I am a player character. Our DM thought of this one:
Bullet of Healing:
This magical bullet can be loaded into any firearm. Whomever is shot by this bullet first receives 1d6 piercing damage followed by 1d10 healing. If the initial damage causes recipient’s HP to fall below 0 before the bullet’s healing effects begin, they will fall unconscious and will not gain any healing effect from the bullet. Instead, one death save is automatically passed.
The Ring of Attunement idea has come up before, and if I remember correctly there’s a class (Artificer?) that gets a bonus based on how many items they have attuned, making it a genuinely useful item in niche cases.
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Can just imagine the arrow running around like a terrifying game of duck duck goose
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A magic sword that can instantly kill anything it touches but it’s stuck in it sheath and can’t be removed.
That’s just a regular YA novel sword
