“You mustn’t read from the book!!”

I’d argue that’s more of a wisdom roll. INT would be a attempt to decipher it without magic, WIS would be knowing not fuck with creepy book or to at least cast detect magic first

“You feel strangely compelled towards the text and begin to read it in a sonorous chant”

“Up pup pup! Check my character sheet, I’m illiterate!”

“You said you were playing a journalist who could speak seven languages.”

“A photojournalist! I’m illiterate in all of them.”

CHA means the Mummy falls in love with you when it shows up

Klaatu Verata Nicoughcoughcough

Wait, isn’t INT the primary stat for an artificer? Rolling that low seems like really bad luck.

And helps you with the tomato-based fruit salad.

Dexterity means you can woo it with a sensual dance routine.

Gimme dat mumussy

Klatau verata niktu

It depends on game and edition. Newer d&d for instance, wisdom is all about senses and willpower. It would apply if the book has bad vibes or some sort of “do not read aloud”/“danger” markings or something. Int would be more appropriate for common sense and knowledge of how to handle possibly cursed items.

He’s a strength build artificer because he invented the powerfist from fallout

Ok. What does my character do next, GM ? Paint my scene for me.

Seriously. At least ask first!

KLATAU…VERATA…Nnncoughing noises

Wisdom being used for both senses and willpower is an odd combination when sensory processing disorders exist.

I’m no artificer, but surely, whatever trigger is activated by reading the text would require it to be in the original language, not the player’s

Sounds like you basically said them, yeah