You take no damage, but are now trapped under 80 tons of rubble. Enjoy your slow death.

Even more fun is managing to get Improved Evasion on your Wiz due to them wanting a Pseudodragon familiar. Basically makes your wizard immune to other caster’s attacks

Laughs as I cast Tenser’s Transformation

That was actually how that character died at one point. Thanks to a prepaid True Resurrection, and some planar shenanigans, that death ended the session causing her to level up to level 17, which allowed me to come back and utterly destroy the asshat that had given me a short dirtnap

I had a speed monk and escaped a avalanch with room to spare, my DM was non plussed, he was a bad DM that couldn’t improv though.

“Phew. Well. That was fun. I saw the other side. I told 'em you’re on your way.”

God’s damnit! That would have been so much better than what I actually said, which was, “I’m Baaaaack!” Right before I blasted him in the face with Unfailing Missiles. 102 points of Sonic/Force damage later, and he was doing poorly enough that my Monk immobilized him, and my Fighter used her Keen, Vorpal, +1 Katana to behead the guy.

We got into the room, and an Avatar of The God of War showed up. We were attacking his main temple, for reasons, and the priests decided to summon his avatar just as we had killed off basically their entire army.

Apparently summoning an avatar of the God of War while you are massively losing a war is not the best idea. He killed everyone in the room, and my Wizard recognized him, and asked, “Ummm, Wargod, are we allowed to live?”

He replied, “Leave with your lives, and nothing from my temple, or not at all.”

He then God Nuked the city we were assaulting, but gave us 10 minutes to evacuate. We saved all of the ballistic missile teams, most of the temple personelle of the gods of healing, most of the orphans, and most of the injured. This was us saving people from an enemy city. Then the city and 50 miles diameter just turned into a large black ball that just absorbed anything that touched it, and when it finally disappeared 6 months later, nothing was left but air.

your DM is cooking

Was. This was a 3.25 campaign. Basically, we used the stronger rules for every class except Druids. Druids were OP in 3.0 and got buffed when every other spellcaster got nerfed in 3.5. All the martial classes got buffed properly in 3.5 to stand up against a 3.0 spellcaster.

We played to level 40, and the DM retired the campaign as he wasn’t prepared to run a Gods Campaign. We had already achieved our goals of the extermination of almost all the Illithid and Aboleth from the Prime Material Planes by that point. Needless to say, every Gith we encountered was at least friendly to us.

Is-it that character’s name Goku?

Brought back from the dead by a dragon just in time to kill the kill baddie.

Lol, no. And none of us watched DBZ. Also it was an archangel, not a dragon

See, evasion isn’t an ability, it’s a trait and by that I mean you don’t get to choose to use evasion; it’s a perk that triggers during specific scenarios. Namely, only applied when “you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dex save to take only half damage”

So, it’s funny, Mr. Rogue, that I don’t quite remember calling for a Dex save …