@Bredroll
Also I forgot, was asked since YEARS to have the option to disable commenting from people who don't follow you.
Never done.
Because the devs do not really value safety.

And that's part of the problem.

@vkc the issue if that you have your own server, sadly dozen of server are unmaintained, or hosted by morront mysoginistic ... so if you don't defederate them you are toast.

I have both the hardware and the knowledge to run my own server but i won't as i don't have time to do the defederation / moderation.

maybe ask @jerry if he can (kindly) give you an easy to use list of server to defederate so they cannot annoy you anymore ?

@lexinova @jerry I share blocklists with dozens of other mods. I can assure you it's not as simple as "block the baddies" and defederation.

This problem goes much deeper than that, is cultural, and will require men to stand up to other men.

@vkc @jerry yeah that is true, it's one of the reason (if i remove the fact i don't want to talk in the name of my company) that i did not reveal my company name (that would give mine easily)

i would be trown to tousand of follower in days, but i would be much more visible to those creep.

but strangely i've found out that it happen much more often on certain people than other (at the same level of public exposure) i wonder why.

but if you find a way we can help you don't hesitate

@vkc

I don't know how many peeps you need following you to make you understand that you are welcome HERE on Mastodon. Point of fact, I am now following you. Cheers.

@vkc

Yeah, I feel that, I've definitely touched up against some pretty insane parts of the Fediverse. Honestly it's kind of difficult to get an overview sense of the general vibe of the place because of how odd and messy federation (and defederation) works.

Everything will be smooth sailing for the most part and then you run into these people with these crazy groups of people following them around who will target you for some percieved slight, and then just as quick you never see them again.

@contrasocial I think a big problem is that folks see "Fediverse" as "big Mastodon instances" and not all of the little actors out there who can ruin a day with hate speech, terrifying images, etc. A big part of that is the (often great) job of moderation, where dark corners are quickly cut off, but not from everyone.

@shadowwwind
Managed instances aren't enough. They have the benefit of pre-blocking the awful servers, but the truly vile will open burner accounts on "too big to block" instances to harass their targets.

We need software with better safety features.

The other way you can go, ofc, is blocking the big instances, but that's not helpful for anyone trying for any sort of reach.
@vkc

@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk
When someone is expressing that they've been wronged and harmed, it is not okay to respond with celebration that it is so.

Walking down the street isn't any less real because you weren't stabbed.
@vkc

@vinnie
Edit: Check https://linuxmom.net/@vkc/116008121241261673

I'm not @vkc and I haven't had the same experiences (white male privilege) so I can't speak for her. Still, she's probably tired of explaining it, so here goes:

A flood of replies ranging from annoying to sadistic. Often from new accounts or new instances, possibly created just to harass her. Replies don't spread to instances where no one follows the poster, so you don't see it, but she will (because she's @mentioned). See my latest boosts on what has (not) been done to stop this.

where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does

@vkc isn't it good though? I mean not the terrible things you get to see of course but that they don't get automatically amplified like they do on centralized social media. This puts people in more control. If a troll sends me some crap from some dark corner of Fedi my audience won't even see it unless I choose to do so by reacting to it. I like it that way. On big socials comments of larger and more popular posts as troll and spam fests. Here spam is almost non-existent precisely because of this.

@dpflug @vkc

You are as much a part of the problem - the policing of others - as I am - having a different take on dealing with the bad bits of life.

If your distress tolerance is SO LOW that "eh, I don't mind the bad as much" is worth taking someone to task over - you might need to talk to someone.

Also? She is PERFECTLY capable as an adult woman of telling me herself that I am being a rude bitch. You, sir, come off as a bit of a wannabe white knight.