TH E FUCKING southern drawl cop robot made me choke and i still have not recovered, what the FUCK was that #monsterdon

i am learning that my favorite quality in movies is getting all three of the trifecta right
a) me not knowing what the fuck is happening
b) clearly trying and failing to do something even if we have no idea what is is, aka not cynically "bad on purpose"
c) whatever is happening is awesome anyway

and this movie is really breaking the meters on all three scales #monsterdon

GOTTA CLIP THE HYPERSPACE effect at this #timestamp #monsterdon

like 75% of the way through filming this movie they must have had the thought like "why is this guy even a robot, nothing about him is a robot" #monsterdon

on the planet of big tiddy babes who kick ass our policing culture is to just leave behind enemies once they fall down and stop moving for a second #monsterdon

"L i didn't know you could survive hand to hand combat and aim accurately at short ranges" -things someone in a culture where robots are totally normal would say
#monsterdon

BIG DREAMS: gigantic mecha-babe that stands guard of the beach
SMALL BUDGET: soundtrack performed by a single musician lazily going doot doot doot doot over the clay model one fo the production exec's kids made while being bored onset
#monsterdon

the soundtrack has wandered off and is scoring the intensity of a completely different movie #monsterdon

he is BARELY GREEN did they film this in ONE DAY front to back??? #monsterdon

look, multiple moons/suns, fine, plausible. hyperspeed 1000 knot atmosphere without surface wind, not fine. pick a different weird planetary feature #monsterdon

what is going on #monsterdon

what the fuck is every word of dialogue and what are they doing in the snow #monsterdon

not making sure someone is dead when they fall down and stop moving for a second seems to be a really common problem in this universe. their weapons seem to just vaporize people entirely. maybe they are just used to death being extremely near at hand and medicine is very effective so nobody ever gets knocked out or anything #monsterdon

the solution to the bad guy was just to push his laser beams back at him? OK!?!?!?!? #monsterdon

THE ICE RESURRECTION is the inverse of the nosferatu burning death scene!!!!!!
https://neuromatch.social/@jonny/113263986432865861
#monsterdon

alright 45 minutes into the movie can anyone catch me up on a shred of the plot i literally have no idea why anyone is doing anything #monsterdon

i can't breathe, this is so fucking funny, what the fuck #monsterdon

why. is. the. robot. southern. #monsterdon

who would win
robot: targeting computer, gun that makes enemies vaporize with one hit anywhere in the body
a bunch of cave men: a huuu aa heeyy a huu a heeyy
#monsterdon

they are doing a "mid movie recounting of the plot to catch up the schmucks who have no idea what's going on" and are somehow making me even less sure what is going on #monsterdon