THEM: Chris, you’re an awful human being for not confirming that a certain conversation happened.

ME: I wasn’t part of that conversation, so I can’t confirm it.

THEM: Are you seriously pretending it didn’t happen?

ME: I’m not pretending anything. I just wasn’t there.

THEM: It’s appalling that you won’t vouch for it.

ME: What’s appalling is asking me to lie. I wasn’t there—so saying it did or didn’t happen would make me dishonest.