That 'stache tho.

Druid: “Okay, can you explain what has happened?”

Druid Spell Target: “Oh, absolutely. But you need to do me one favor, first.”

Druid: “Anything, just name it.”

Druid Spell Target: “EXTINGUISH ME!!!”

Animal: “I’m on fire, do you mind?”

Druid: “No, I don’t mind at all.”

I took it a step further once: we were playing DSA (can’t recommend, I don’t like the system) and it has a spell called Objectovoco (German source, sorry). That spell allows you to ask objects yes or no questions that they have to answer truthfully. So I was basically interrogating the furniture when we were supposed to have no witnesses to ask.

When your party doesn’t have a Cleric, but you don’t want to be a religious fruitcake to support your party, so you just roll up a Circle of the Shepherd druid and get the side bonus of being able to talk to all the beasts, all the time, no need to fw spell slots. And then take Message as a cantrip because you rolled High Elf lineage. Become the single greatest reconnaissance member your party has ever seen.

I love that spell idea I’m stealing it

Das Schwartze Auge

“The Black Eye.” The spell name is interesting, coming from a German game - “object” is spelled the English way and “voco” clearly alludes to “vocal,” a word that derives from Latin, not German.

I might use the spell just to find out what kind of voice random objects have.

Wizard did it.

Ww? What?? It wasn’t me!

Yeah it was.

Are you really saying you saw the wizard do it?

No, but it was him.

It’s not the wizards fault they just got access to fireball. That forest was asking for it anyways.

Other excuses in this vein:

• DM shouldn’t have provided such a target rich environment
• Had to be sure they weren’t all mimics and/or tree blights