There is a part of me that feels very frustrated by that, because I have had to confront a lot of difficult truths to get where I am, & while there have been many helpful voices & guiding lights, I was the one deciding to push forward. I didn't need to be told to find the truth & figure out what I'm supposed to do about it.

I just did it.

But some other people are just fucking different from me. Sometimes they need help, & having made this journey myself maybe I have something to help them.

I may be angry about it sometimes. Angry & frustrated & fucking hurt when it's someone I love. Little bro's anger is what led him to actually confronting people directly. Fantastic.

But what comes next? If something fucking good happens for once, what's the change I want to see? I'm going to have to dig deep & find how to help him find perspective.

We are hitting up the group chat at this point. Little bro is sharing what's happening in his city & how dangerous it is to even help people, because ICE follows people helping to find the people they are trying to help.

So Minneapolis residents have to operate very secretly & carefully just to get food to people who need it.

And maybe little bro & I can tag team this.

I dunno. There's a good chance nothing changes.

But there is also possibility. It may be time to lean hard on big bro & see what happens.

And maybe little bro & I can tag team this.

I dunno. There's a good chance nothing changes.

But there is also possibility. It may be time to lean hard on big bro & see what happens.

We are hitting up the group chat at this point. Little bro is sharing what's happening in his city & how dangerous it is to even help people, because ICE follows people helping to find the people they are trying to help.

So Minneapolis residents have to operate very secretly & carefully just to get food to people who need it.

So little bro is sharing that, & I'm sharing that if ICE does a push in Milwaukee of the kind they are doing in MN, then ICE will come to my street, & I will go outside & take videos & be loud & difficult, & I said if I die for the same reason that Renee Good did (just trying to help people), then I am at peace with that.

We're pushing & trying to make it real for them.

And I'm not kidding: if they do the scale of operation they are doing in Minneapolis, ICE *will* show up right outside my door. There is a fucking international school across the street from me.

And even if they don't do that scale of operation, there is still a damn good chance of ICE thugs right in front of my house.

So I'm telling the fam: I'm not trying to die, but I'm fucking willing to, & there's a good fucking possibility I will be in a situation where that is a genuine risk.

And I'm not kidding: if they do the scale of operation they are doing in Minneapolis, ICE *will* show up right outside my door. There is a fucking international school across the street from me.

And even if they don't do that scale of operation, there is still a damn good chance of ICE thugs right in front of my house.

So I'm telling the fam: I'm not trying to die, but I'm fucking willing to, & there's a good fucking possibility I will be in a situation where that is a genuine risk.

I was listening to a YouTuber I like who said she thinks some men have a hard time acknowledging the violence of the present situation because they have been taught to think of themselves as "protectors" & "warriors", so if something this cruel & brutal was actually happening, they are scared they would have to *do* something.

But here's the thing. I do need my big bro to do things, but it's not "go out & get yourself killed." He's got a very large family. He needs to take care of his kids.

And I'm not kidding: if they do the scale of operation they are doing in Minneapolis, ICE *will* show up right outside my door. There is a fucking international school across the street from me.

And even if they don't do that scale of operation, there is still a damn good chance of ICE thugs right in front of my house.

So I'm telling the fam: I'm not trying to die, but I'm fucking willing to, & there's a good fucking possibility I will be in a situation where that is a genuine risk.

@artemis the solidarity is much appreciated, and also: I just want to highlight that we are doing this in MN and, overwhelmingly, NOT dying, because a) we are protecting each other by sharing the risk, and b) although these goon are incredibly dangerous, they are also, on the whole, a bunch of worthless putzes who flee at the sound of a whistle, and would rather sit warm behind their tinted windows (presumably dicking around on their phones) than actually get out of their cars and do shit

Spoke to my friend who lives near St. Cloud, MN yesterday. Shit is awful there too. They also have a large Somali population so ICE is there harassing, brutalizing, & kidnapping people.

They said it was weird being scared to go get coffee from the convenience store like they have done every weekend for years, because who fucking knows? You don't have to be doing fucking *anything*. Just have them think you're following them, & they'll be dragging you out of your car.

This is so fucked.

@feznander
Thanks & yes to all that. I ain't planning on dying. There are a lot of useful things I would like to do that aren't "being a martyr".

Y'all in Minnesota are fucking doing the work & protecting each other, & that's how it's done. I'm working on getting some more practical information & connections to folks in my area.

I freaking love that my MOM in Iowa, my used-to-be-right-wing mom is sending me resources on community defense.

@artemis the solidarity is much appreciated, and also: I just want to highlight that we are doing this in MN and, overwhelmingly, NOT dying, because a) we are protecting each other by sharing the risk, and b) although these goon are incredibly dangerous, they are also, on the whole, a bunch of worthless putzes who flee at the sound of a whistle, and would rather sit warm behind their tinted windows (presumably dicking around on their phones) than actually get out of their cars and do shit

My mom responding to me (privately) not saying "don't risk your safety," but offering me resources on community defense means a lot to me.

It means she gets it. She is proud of me & my brother, & she is also educating herself & getting herself ready to help. It means she knows that some things are worth taking risks for.

Right now it's an "if" ICE shows up right here on my street, but there is a possible scenario where that "if" could turn into just a matter of "when".

And I definitely want my brothers & sisters to understand that & what it has the potential to mean. I'm not being hysterical. I'm not making trouble or coming up with far-fetched scenarios.

I'm just saying. If thugs show up here to hurt my neighbors or the kids at the school, well, I wouldn't have a choice.

There is no reason not to be careful. There is every reason not to throw your life away pointlessly, not just for yourself but for everyone you hope to help. We are all needed. We all have ways we can help.

Y'all, stay alive. I want you to stay alive. *I* want to stay alive.

But safety? In some cases, safety just may not be an option.

As Minnesota folks are reminding me: our strength is each other. We have numbers. Together we are so strong.

And our hearts are in this in the way the fash can't even imagine. The power of love for each other, our homes, our communities is not something they can understand.

So little bro is sharing that, & I'm sharing that if ICE does a push in Milwaukee of the kind they are doing in MN, then ICE will come to my street, & I will go outside & take videos & be loud & difficult, & I said if I die for the same reason that Renee Good did (just trying to help people), then I am at peace with that.

We're pushing & trying to make it real for them.