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  3. I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi.

I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi.

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  • ArtemisA Artemis

    I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi. For the most part now I am able to have serious conversations with people who share my values, without being constantly pulled into squabbles with assholes who are wasting my time.

    large mozzB This user is from outside of this forum
    large mozzB This user is from outside of this forum
    large mozz
    wrote last edited by
    #8

    @artemis i think once i dropped off of twitter and went to bsky i started changing my mentality about that kind of platform. though on bsky it increasingly turned into the same kind of pointless verbal combat. i've had nothing like that here, which has been great. i don't post as much, but it's still a more pleasant experience.

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    • CassandrichD Cassandrich

      @artemis This is really the difference between good and bad/no moderation. We shouldn't have to deal with bad faith engagement.

      BenAvelingB This user is from outside of this forum
      BenAvelingB This user is from outside of this forum
      BenAveling
      wrote last edited by
      #9

      It’s also the difference between conscious boosting (someone must think a thing is worth boosting) and algorithmic boosting (all engagement is considered good)
      @artemis @dalias

      BenAvelingB 1 Reply Last reply
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      • Sin VegaS Sin Vega

        @artemis it was striking to gradually move away from there, and then leave completely... and then interact over the next few years with people still there (or on the blue reskin, whatever).

        Even in non-public spaces, the way they'd immediately leap on during a friendly conversation to try to be more righteous or have a better Take or pick some pedantic fuckin nano-hole in *conversation with their own people*

        ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
        ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
        Artemis
        wrote last edited by
        #10

        @sinvega
        Yeah, I think people develop a fighting mentality & eventually make very little distinction between friend & foe. Everything feels like it could be an attack.

        Sin VegaS 1 Reply Last reply
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        • ArtemisA Artemis

          @sinvega
          Yeah, I think people develop a fighting mentality & eventually make very little distinction between friend & foe. Everything feels like it could be an attack.

          Sin VegaS This user is from outside of this forum
          Sin VegaS This user is from outside of this forum
          Sin Vega
          wrote last edited by
          #11

          @artemis and if it's not, it's an opportunity to 😐

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • violet :heart_bi: :sheher:T violet :heart_bi: :sheher:

            @artemis It has been an adjustment to not assume everything said to or near me is intended to start a debate. I never got into the arguments, but I definitely assumed the worst by the end of my time on Twitter.

            ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
            ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
            Artemis
            wrote last edited by
            #12

            @thecrushedviolet
            Exactly. Even if you really want to have productive conversations & aren't looking for debate, it's an environment that ends up feeling so hostile, so it becomes hard to approach people in good faith.

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            • CassandrichD Cassandrich

              @artemis This is really the difference between good and bad/no moderation. We shouldn't have to deal with bad faith engagement.

              ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
              ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
              Artemis
              wrote last edited by
              #13

              @dalias
              Yeah, the moderation experience on a good Fedi instance is wildly different from being on major social media.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • ArtemisA Artemis

                In that regard, Twitter was even more hellish than I realized. I wanted to be talking with people who are also trying to make the world a better place, but instead I was getting worn down & distracted by the people trying to make it worse.

                ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                Artemis
                wrote last edited by
                #14

                We should never stop trying to make Fedi better & safer. It's not perfect. As usual, marginalized people have the worst experience.

                So this is not to say "yay! We did it! It's perfect & never needs to change."

                But the spaces that we build for ourselves can be so much better than what private enterprise has to offer. We can have fucking *conversations* here.

                bytebroB JulesA ArtemisA 3 Replies Last reply
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                • ArtemisA Artemis

                  We should never stop trying to make Fedi better & safer. It's not perfect. As usual, marginalized people have the worst experience.

                  So this is not to say "yay! We did it! It's perfect & never needs to change."

                  But the spaces that we build for ourselves can be so much better than what private enterprise has to offer. We can have fucking *conversations* here.

                  bytebroB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bytebroB This user is from outside of this forum
                  bytebro
                  wrote last edited by
                  #15

                  @artemis

                  Fedi is 'a process' rather than just 'a place'. It is always changing, and as long as it continues to change for the better, I'm in.

                  Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:F 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • ArtemisA Artemis

                    We should never stop trying to make Fedi better & safer. It's not perfect. As usual, marginalized people have the worst experience.

                    So this is not to say "yay! We did it! It's perfect & never needs to change."

                    But the spaces that we build for ourselves can be so much better than what private enterprise has to offer. We can have fucking *conversations* here.

                    JulesA This user is from outside of this forum
                    JulesA This user is from outside of this forum
                    Jules
                    wrote last edited by
                    #16

                    @artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators

                    Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:F ArtemisA 0xC0DEC0DE07E9C 3 Replies Last reply
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                    • ArtemisA Artemis

                      We should never stop trying to make Fedi better & safer. It's not perfect. As usual, marginalized people have the worst experience.

                      So this is not to say "yay! We did it! It's perfect & never needs to change."

                      But the spaces that we build for ourselves can be so much better than what private enterprise has to offer. We can have fucking *conversations* here.

                      ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                      ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                      Artemis
                      wrote last edited by
                      #17

                      And frankly, it's been slow, but I have seen a lot of people—including instance admins—responding to the suggestions & critiques of marginalized people.

                      It's not everyone & it's not enough, but it does fucking happen here. The hard conversations happen & at least *some* people try to make this better.

                      One thing I love about Fedi is that it *can become better.*

                      ArtemisA epiloniousE 2 Replies Last reply
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                      • BenAvelingB BenAveling

                        It’s also the difference between conscious boosting (someone must think a thing is worth boosting) and algorithmic boosting (all engagement is considered good)
                        @artemis @dalias

                        BenAvelingB This user is from outside of this forum
                        BenAvelingB This user is from outside of this forum
                        BenAveling
                        wrote last edited by
                        #18

                        And to add to that, not just ‘someone’, but someone you have chosen to trust with your follow. @artemis @dalias

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • bytebroB bytebro

                          @artemis

                          Fedi is 'a process' rather than just 'a place'. It is always changing, and as long as it continues to change for the better, I'm in.

                          Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:F This user is from outside of this forum
                          Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:F This user is from outside of this forum
                          Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:
                          wrote last edited by
                          #19

                          @bytebro @artemis wow. I never thought of it like that. That's a really good way to view Fedi. It's almost like how the internet is not a place but a series of protocols.

                          We can improve it.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • ArtemisA Artemis

                            And frankly, it's been slow, but I have seen a lot of people—including instance admins—responding to the suggestions & critiques of marginalized people.

                            It's not everyone & it's not enough, but it does fucking happen here. The hard conversations happen & at least *some* people try to make this better.

                            One thing I love about Fedi is that it *can become better.*

                            ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                            ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                            Artemis
                            wrote last edited by
                            #20

                            Also, if you are having a lot of interactions with people acting in bad faith or harassing you, it is worth considering moving to an instance with stricter moderation or that blocks or restricts more problem instances.

                            Dicecamp has been great for me, but there are plenty of great ones out there.

                            ArtemisA DThorisD 2 Replies Last reply
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                            • JulesA Jules

                              @artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators

                              Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:F This user is from outside of this forum
                              Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:F This user is from outside of this forum
                              Robert [KJ5ELX] :donor:
                              wrote last edited by
                              #21

                              @afewbugs @artemis

                              Heck, the fact that people even talk on here instead of yelling over each other... Like me here replying to you and agreeing with you how much the algo's just make things worse for everyone.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • ArtemisA Artemis

                                Also, if you are having a lot of interactions with people acting in bad faith or harassing you, it is worth considering moving to an instance with stricter moderation or that blocks or restricts more problem instances.

                                Dicecamp has been great for me, but there are plenty of great ones out there.

                                ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                                ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                                Artemis
                                wrote last edited by
                                #22

                                I especially recommend this if you're on mastodon social. I'm really glad you signed up & joined Fedi, but you may be able to find an even better corner to call your own (but do what you want—the point is it's your choice).

                                "Just move instances" is not a solution to systemic problems, but if you think you could personally have a better experience, it's a thing you can try.

                                kaliK 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • ArtemisA Artemis

                                  I especially recommend this if you're on mastodon social. I'm really glad you signed up & joined Fedi, but you may be able to find an even better corner to call your own (but do what you want—the point is it's your choice).

                                  "Just move instances" is not a solution to systemic problems, but if you think you could personally have a better experience, it's a thing you can try.

                                  kaliK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kaliK This user is from outside of this forum
                                  kali
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #23

                                  @artemis i agree, mastodon.social is too big, they attract too many trolls.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • ArtemisA Artemis

                                    And frankly, it's been slow, but I have seen a lot of people—including instance admins—responding to the suggestions & critiques of marginalized people.

                                    It's not everyone & it's not enough, but it does fucking happen here. The hard conversations happen & at least *some* people try to make this better.

                                    One thing I love about Fedi is that it *can become better.*

                                    epiloniousE This user is from outside of this forum
                                    epiloniousE This user is from outside of this forum
                                    epilonious
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #24

                                    @artemis not my anxious ass going "Is today the day I finally send a small note to a popular person on a popular-but-problematic instance that their instance is problematic and they should consider moving off it because it'll likely only get worse and has already responded badly to criticism... Or am I just seeking the dopamine from a chaotic low-stakes online interaction. Again."

                                    epiloniousE 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • epiloniousE epilonious

                                      @artemis not my anxious ass going "Is today the day I finally send a small note to a popular person on a popular-but-problematic instance that their instance is problematic and they should consider moving off it because it'll likely only get worse and has already responded badly to criticism... Or am I just seeking the dopamine from a chaotic low-stakes online interaction. Again."

                                      epiloniousE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      epiloniousE This user is from outside of this forum
                                      epilonious
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #25

                                      @artemis (no it's not you/re instance)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • JulesA Jules

                                        @artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators

                                        ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        ArtemisA This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Artemis
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #26

                                        @afewbugs

                                        Exactly. And the thing is, when you see other people responding in that way—asking for clarification instead of assuming the worst & apologizing when called out—it feels safer to do that yourself. I've become a lot better at just not responding with the first emotional thing that pops into my head & actually thinking "what would it look like to just talk to this person in a mutually respectful way?"

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • JulesA Jules

                                          @artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators

                                          0xC0DEC0DE07E9C This user is from outside of this forum
                                          0xC0DEC0DE07E9C This user is from outside of this forum
                                          0xC0DEC0DE07E9
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #27

                                          @afewbugs @artemis I semi-frequently give random internet strangers here a “like” when I see them apologize or course-correct, just to let them know that a random internet stranger approves of their ability to apologize or recognize that there’s a misunderstanding and maybe they’re at fault or can do better.

                                          ArtemisA 1 Reply Last reply
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