As soon as the movie started, my cat Ark started pulling DVDs off my shelf. I imagine he's recommending other films. #monsterdon

#monsterdon quoting a grim probability to too many decimal places worked better when Spock did it.

#monsterdon
"He keeps talking about red monsters!"

Communists?!?

#monsterdon
I don't want to hear anything from the "practical stop motion effects are always worth watching" crowd this week.

#monsterdon I love how in bad movies, long-term slave laborers already know how to escape, they just haven't decided to do it until a hero shows up.

#monsterdon It sure would have been neat if any of the slaves survived Stella Star's escape.

Like, any of them at all.

She's not worried about it, though.

#monsterdon This movie so badly wants to be Star Wars.

#monsterdon They're SO PROUD of these space-ship models.

But after Star Wars and 2001 they're kind of just ok.

#monsterdon The director clearly subscribed to the "gravitas is when you talk really slowly" school of directing.

#monsterdon It would be neat if the magic trick he was doing had anything to do with what he was saying.

#monsterdon Her costume got skimpier!
She used to have bands across her midsection!

Did she take them off some of it mid-flight?

#monsterdon Doesn't count as nudity if it's robot boobies.

#monsterdon For all the effort they put into the space-ships earlier in the film, it would have been nice to be able to see the enemy fighters.

#monsterdon The temperature can't really drop thousand of degrees. There aren't that many degrees.

#monsterdon You can tell this is an ice planet, because she's wearing a shirt.

#monsterdon They teach you this in survival training.

Just lay down and sleep in the snow. No need for shelter.

#monsterdon So, is there a reason Acton is still alive? Like a clever twist or something?

No? Ok. I guess "Somehow Acton Survived".

#monsterdon "These deadly rays will be your death"

Amazing.

#monsterdon I'm tired of hearing about Acton's "Powers".

Is this stuff anybody can do?

Is he an alien? A wizard?

Are there a lot of people like him? He's just a rando smuggler, right?

1970s movie makers loved filming oil and water.
#monsterdon