Listen here you little shit
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“When you get to the fork in the road, take it.”
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Roll for initiative
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Oh no! It is a mimic! Roll for initiative.
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Roll for initiative
“Why?”
“Because it’s a mimic.”
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“You now have a fork in the road. Add it to your inventory.” “Do you mean a fork?” “No.”
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I don’t wanna fork on the road. I wanna fork in the bed.
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DM: “Why are you skanking…?”
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Congratulations! You’re now the proud owner of the Cursed Fork of Missile Attraction!
Every ranged attack targeting you has advantage which cannot be negated by anything until you break the curse at the next “Y-INTERSECTION”
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Role a strength check
Unfortunately you are not strong enough to lift the fork in the road.
What! Oh my god Magic Fork!
What? No it’s just a normal fork in the road.
I must have been hit by some kind of weakness magic.
No, you’ve been hit by stupid.
De-intelligence magic? But why would that effect my strength? Unless I’m so dumb I think I’m stronger than I am, an I actually a fairy? We have to find a wizard to turn me back.
Yeah let’s throw away my novel I wrote for this and go off on some random Bs side quest.
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DM: “Why are you skanking…?”
“The fork rejects your advances.”
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“As you bend over to pick up the fork, you slip a vertebral disc. Your health is reduced to 30%, and will stay capped there for the following three days.”
DnD in your 30s.
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I shoot the gazebo with my bow.
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oh no! it’s the cursed fork of splitting!
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I shoot the gazebo with my bow.
I cast magic missile at the darkness!
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Reminds me of “dungeon crawler carl.”
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Uncle Sheo is spreading the fork of horrirpillation around the kingdoms again…
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I don’t wanna fork on the road. I wanna fork in the bed.
You better not fork in the road, you son of a beach!
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Role a strength check
Unfortunately you are not strong enough to lift the fork in the road.
What! Oh my god Magic Fork!
What? No it’s just a normal fork in the road.
I must have been hit by some kind of weakness magic.
No, you’ve been hit by stupid.
De-intelligence magic? But why would that effect my strength? Unless I’m so dumb I think I’m stronger than I am, an I actually a fairy? We have to find a wizard to turn me back.
Yeah let’s throw away my novel I wrote for this and go off on some random Bs side quest.
Watch what happens when the party encounters a gazebo.
