When my wife and I were married, she kept her name. Frankly, I prefer that. Mrs Gates is my mom and no thank you.

We then got a cat, who has her own last name. The name Tusky McMammoth is its own unit that couldn’t be broken. Same with the second cat, Wesley Crusher.

When we had our son, he inherited a last name each from my wife and myself.

So nobody in my house of three humans and two cats shares the same last name. The Christmas letter with its many names looks like a law firm sent it.