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  3. Sticks and stones will break your bones and words will fucking kill you

Sticks and stones will break your bones and words will fucking kill you

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rpgmemes
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  • StametsS Stamets
    This post did not contain any content.
    The Giant KoreanT This user is from outside of this forum
    The Giant KoreanT This user is from outside of this forum
    The Giant Korean
    wrote on last edited by
    #18

    The bard in my game killed Brenda Walsh from Beverly Hills 90210 with this cantrip.

    E 1 Reply Last reply
    2
    • StametsS Stamets
      This post did not contain any content.
      H This user is from outside of this forum
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      hereiam@lemmy.world
      wrote on last edited by
      #19

      Well, this scene from Pick of Destiny is very fitting https://youtu.be/2KAl-b5RfOM?t=80

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • StametsS Stamets
        This post did not contain any content.
        L This user is from outside of this forum
        L This user is from outside of this forum
        lunsjentilanette@sh.itjust.works
        wrote on last edited by
        #20

        I legit killed an owlbear with vicious mockery (as in killing blow). Sticks and stones etcetc

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • StametsS Stamets
          This post did not contain any content.
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          texas_hangover@sh.itjust.works
          wrote on last edited by
          #21

          Imma start another bg3 run asap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • StametsS Stamets
            This post did not contain any content.
            S This user is from outside of this forum
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            sirblastalot@ttrpg.network
            wrote on last edited by
            #22

            Bards aren’t just “a talented musician” they literally use magic. They’re basically wizards that went the liberal arts path in college.

            sad_detective_man@leminal.spaceS 1 Reply Last reply
            109
            • StametsS Stamets
              This post did not contain any content.
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              etterra@discuss.online
              wrote on last edited by
              #23

              Plot twist, the dragon accepts your challenge and destroys you with 800 years worth of yo mama jokes.

              1 Reply Last reply
              34
              • The Giant KoreanT The Giant Korean

                The bard in my game killed Brenda Walsh from Beverly Hills 90210 with this cantrip.

                E This user is from outside of this forum
                E This user is from outside of this forum
                etterra@discuss.online
                wrote on last edited by
                #24

                I give up on gaming and am leaving to become a mountain hermit.

                1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • StametsS Stamets
                  This post did not contain any content.
                  JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                  JackbyDev
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #25

                  It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI V B 3 Replies Last reply
                  33
                  • D dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world

                    A cantrip that’s as effective as “power word kill” on mundane folk? Use 55 times to kill a dragon? How did I miss this?

                    As a DM, I’d have to implement a house rule that every such insult must be unique, as it is magically bound to the target at that distinct moment in time. And that goes for failures as well as successes: each use burns that phrase forever. At the very least this goes if used repeatedly against the same target. Besides, a good bard should be able to cook up fresh material.

                    JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                    JackbyDev
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #26

                    This is an absolutely insane take. Vicious Mockery is the the least damaging cantrip (or like bottom three). Further, it’s a cantrip, something players are supposed to be able to easily without resource consumption. Expecting a player to come up with unique insults every time they cast this is stupid and exhausting. Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

                    Spell casters using cantrips is akin to fighters making normal attacks, swinging a sword.

                    mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM 1 Reply Last reply
                    19
                    • K Kindness is Punk

                      I mean if I was a dragon that failed to kill a bard for 11 minutes I’d take care of it myself.

                      JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      JackbyDev
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #27

                      I can’t imagine surviving 55 rounds of combat against a dragon. Are people thinking this is a video game or something where you can just simply not take damage from a dragon if you’re skilled enough or something?

                      K A 2 Replies Last reply
                      23
                      • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                        I can’t imagine surviving 55 rounds of combat against a dragon. Are people thinking this is a video game or something where you can just simply not take damage from a dragon if you’re skilled enough or something?

                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                        K This user is from outside of this forum
                        Kindness is Punk
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #28

                        yeah even for a hypothetical it’s stretching the bounds of believability

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        15
                        • K know_not_scotty_does@lemmy.world

                          NAT 20 LET’S GOOOO

                          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          JackbyDev
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #29

                          Ermmm actually ☝️🤓 you don’t roll when casting Vicious Mockery, the target does, so the best case scenario for the caster would be the target rolling a natural 1.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          8
                          • D dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world

                            A cantrip that’s as effective as “power word kill” on mundane folk? Use 55 times to kill a dragon? How did I miss this?

                            As a DM, I’d have to implement a house rule that every such insult must be unique, as it is magically bound to the target at that distinct moment in time. And that goes for failures as well as successes: each use burns that phrase forever. At the very least this goes if used repeatedly against the same target. Besides, a good bard should be able to cook up fresh material.

                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            Robust Mirror
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #30

                            So are you going to nerf every class similarly?

                            Bard

                            Vicious Mockery: avg 10 / 55 casts

                            Cleric

                            Word of Radiance: avg 13.5 / 41 casts
                            Sacred flame: avg 18 / 31 casts

                            Druid

                            Produce Flame: avg 11 / 50 casts
                            Poison Spray: avg 22.5 / 25 casts

                            Sorcerer

                            Acid Splash: avg 10.5 / 52 casts

                            Warlock

                            Chill Touch: avg 11 / 50 casts

                            Wizard

                            Ray of Frost: avg 11 / 50 casts

                            Artificer

                            Thunderclap: avg 13.5 / 41 casts

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            11
                            • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                              This is an absolutely insane take. Vicious Mockery is the the least damaging cantrip (or like bottom three). Further, it’s a cantrip, something players are supposed to be able to easily without resource consumption. Expecting a player to come up with unique insults every time they cast this is stupid and exhausting. Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

                              Spell casters using cantrips is akin to fighters making normal attacks, swinging a sword.

                              mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM This user is from outside of this forum
                              mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM This user is from outside of this forum
                              mousekeyboard@ttrpg.network
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #31

                              Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

                              Fly swats are overpowered because they’re as effective as a machine gun at killing flies.

                              JackbyDevJ 1 Reply Last reply
                              6
                              • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                                It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                                itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                                itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                                itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #32

                                It got buffed to a d6 in 5.5e

                                But then again, with this math they’re talking about 5e, so your point stands

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • K Kindness is Punk

                                  I mean if I was a dragon that failed to kill a bard for 11 minutes I’d take care of it myself.

                                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #33

                                  Wall of force lasts 10 minutes, just saying

                                  A 1 Reply Last reply
                                  5
                                  • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                                    It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                                    vithigar@lemmy.ca
                                    wrote on last edited by vithigar@lemmy.ca
                                    #34

                                    Ignoring the actual rules and mechanics is basically step one in almost every “isn’t this goofy” D&D anecdote.

                                    Not only is it not “decent damage” (even the buff it got in 5.5 just brings it from “the worst” to “poor”), it’s also not a subtle thing you can just drop on someone unsuspectingly.

                                    Spellcasting for an attack is an obvious aggressive action, which means an initiative roll comes first to see if you even manage to get it off before they clock you. It’s also not like everyone around just shrugs and lets you go about your business because all you did was hurl an insult. You attacked someone with an offensive spell, the response is exactly the same as if you threw a firebolt at them

                                    The flavor of insulting someone to death is fun, I’ll grant that, but there’s nothing special about Vicious Mockery mechanically that makes it immune to initiative order or people noticing what you’re doing.

                                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                                    25
                                    • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                                      It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #35

                                      I mean, just look at their example. Level 17+ for the math? Holy shiiiiiit. At levels 15+, you’re basically living legends that are about to start conquering kingdoms singlehandedly and fighting gods. That’s not “a talented musician,” that’s the dude who leads month long rave parties that brings in all the nobility’s children and starts a religion that is then used with said children to start coups in the continental region.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      38
                                      • S sirblastalot@ttrpg.network

                                        Bards aren’t just “a talented musician” they literally use magic. They’re basically wizards that went the liberal arts path in college.

                                        sad_detective_man@leminal.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sad_detective_man@leminal.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                                        sad_detective_man@leminal.space
                                        wrote on last edited by sad_detective_man@leminal.space
                                        #36

                                        Ha while you were Chaining Lightning and Disintegrating Polymorphs, I studied THE ARTS

                                        don’t call me when the Barbarians are at your Gates

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        23
                                        • mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM mousekeyboard@ttrpg.network

                                          Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

                                          Fly swats are overpowered because they’re as effective as a machine gun at killing flies.

                                          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          JackbyDev
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #37

                                          It’s important for others reading this that they realize a cat can kill a commoner in one attack. A magic user using magic shouldn’t be shocking, even when that magic is flavored as an insult.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          7

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