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  3. Sticks and stones will break your bones and words will fucking kill you

Sticks and stones will break your bones and words will fucking kill you

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rpgmemes
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  • D dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world

    A cantrip that’s as effective as “power word kill” on mundane folk? Use 55 times to kill a dragon? How did I miss this?

    As a DM, I’d have to implement a house rule that every such insult must be unique, as it is magically bound to the target at that distinct moment in time. And that goes for failures as well as successes: each use burns that phrase forever. At the very least this goes if used repeatedly against the same target. Besides, a good bard should be able to cook up fresh material.

    JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
    JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
    JackbyDev
    wrote on last edited by
    #26

    This is an absolutely insane take. Vicious Mockery is the the least damaging cantrip (or like bottom three). Further, it’s a cantrip, something players are supposed to be able to easily without resource consumption. Expecting a player to come up with unique insults every time they cast this is stupid and exhausting. Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

    Spell casters using cantrips is akin to fighters making normal attacks, swinging a sword.

    mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM 1 Reply Last reply
    19
    • K Kindness is Punk

      I mean if I was a dragon that failed to kill a bard for 11 minutes I’d take care of it myself.

      JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
      JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
      JackbyDev
      wrote on last edited by
      #27

      I can’t imagine surviving 55 rounds of combat against a dragon. Are people thinking this is a video game or something where you can just simply not take damage from a dragon if you’re skilled enough or something?

      K A 2 Replies Last reply
      23
      • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

        I can’t imagine surviving 55 rounds of combat against a dragon. Are people thinking this is a video game or something where you can just simply not take damage from a dragon if you’re skilled enough or something?

        K This user is from outside of this forum
        K This user is from outside of this forum
        Kindness is Punk
        wrote on last edited by
        #28

        yeah even for a hypothetical it’s stretching the bounds of believability

        1 Reply Last reply
        15
        • K know_not_scotty_does@lemmy.world

          NAT 20 LET’S GOOOO

          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
          JackbyDev
          wrote on last edited by
          #29

          Ermmm actually ☝️🤓 you don’t roll when casting Vicious Mockery, the target does, so the best case scenario for the caster would be the target rolling a natural 1.

          1 Reply Last reply
          8
          • D dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world

            A cantrip that’s as effective as “power word kill” on mundane folk? Use 55 times to kill a dragon? How did I miss this?

            As a DM, I’d have to implement a house rule that every such insult must be unique, as it is magically bound to the target at that distinct moment in time. And that goes for failures as well as successes: each use burns that phrase forever. At the very least this goes if used repeatedly against the same target. Besides, a good bard should be able to cook up fresh material.

            R This user is from outside of this forum
            R This user is from outside of this forum
            Robust Mirror
            wrote on last edited by
            #30

            So are you going to nerf every class similarly?

            Bard

            Vicious Mockery: avg 10 / 55 casts

            Cleric

            Word of Radiance: avg 13.5 / 41 casts
            Sacred flame: avg 18 / 31 casts

            Druid

            Produce Flame: avg 11 / 50 casts
            Poison Spray: avg 22.5 / 25 casts

            Sorcerer

            Acid Splash: avg 10.5 / 52 casts

            Warlock

            Chill Touch: avg 11 / 50 casts

            Wizard

            Ray of Frost: avg 11 / 50 casts

            Artificer

            Thunderclap: avg 13.5 / 41 casts

            1 Reply Last reply
            11
            • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

              This is an absolutely insane take. Vicious Mockery is the the least damaging cantrip (or like bottom three). Further, it’s a cantrip, something players are supposed to be able to easily without resource consumption. Expecting a player to come up with unique insults every time they cast this is stupid and exhausting. Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

              Spell casters using cantrips is akin to fighters making normal attacks, swinging a sword.

              mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM This user is from outside of this forum
              mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM This user is from outside of this forum
              mousekeyboard@ttrpg.network
              wrote on last edited by
              #31

              Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

              Fly swats are overpowered because they’re as effective as a machine gun at killing flies.

              JackbyDevJ 1 Reply Last reply
              6
              • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                wrote on last edited by
                #32

                It got buffed to a d6 in 5.5e

                But then again, with this math they’re talking about 5e, so your point stands

                1 Reply Last reply
                2
                • K Kindness is Punk

                  I mean if I was a dragon that failed to kill a bard for 11 minutes I’d take care of it myself.

                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI This user is from outside of this forum
                  itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #33

                  Wall of force lasts 10 minutes, just saying

                  A 1 Reply Last reply
                  5
                  • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                    It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                    V This user is from outside of this forum
                    vithigar@lemmy.ca
                    wrote on last edited by vithigar@lemmy.ca
                    #34

                    Ignoring the actual rules and mechanics is basically step one in almost every “isn’t this goofy” D&D anecdote.

                    Not only is it not “decent damage” (even the buff it got in 5.5 just brings it from “the worst” to “poor”), it’s also not a subtle thing you can just drop on someone unsuspectingly.

                    Spellcasting for an attack is an obvious aggressive action, which means an initiative roll comes first to see if you even manage to get it off before they clock you. It’s also not like everyone around just shrugs and lets you go about your business because all you did was hurl an insult. You attacked someone with an offensive spell, the response is exactly the same as if you threw a firebolt at them

                    The flavor of insulting someone to death is fun, I’ll grant that, but there’s nothing special about Vicious Mockery mechanically that makes it immune to initiative order or people noticing what you’re doing.

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
                    25
                    • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                      It’s odd saying it does decent damage. It’s the least damaging cantrip. Not hating on it, but it’s odd to say that lol.

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #35

                      I mean, just look at their example. Level 17+ for the math? Holy shiiiiiit. At levels 15+, you’re basically living legends that are about to start conquering kingdoms singlehandedly and fighting gods. That’s not “a talented musician,” that’s the dude who leads month long rave parties that brings in all the nobility’s children and starts a religion that is then used with said children to start coups in the continental region.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      38
                      • S sirblastalot@ttrpg.network

                        Bards aren’t just “a talented musician” they literally use magic. They’re basically wizards that went the liberal arts path in college.

                        sad_detective_man@leminal.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sad_detective_man@leminal.spaceS This user is from outside of this forum
                        sad_detective_man@leminal.space
                        wrote on last edited by sad_detective_man@leminal.space
                        #36

                        Ha while you were Chaining Lightning and Disintegrating Polymorphs, I studied THE ARTS

                        don’t call me when the Barbarians are at your Gates

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        23
                        • mousekeyboard@ttrpg.networkM mousekeyboard@ttrpg.network

                          Also, the reason it’s “as effective as power word kill on common folk” is because common folk are weak and meant to weak. They’re not heroes.

                          Fly swats are overpowered because they’re as effective as a machine gun at killing flies.

                          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          JackbyDev
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #37

                          It’s important for others reading this that they realize a cat can kill a commoner in one attack. A magic user using magic shouldn’t be shocking, even when that magic is flavored as an insult.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          7
                          • JackbyDevJ JackbyDev

                            I can’t imagine surviving 55 rounds of combat against a dragon. Are people thinking this is a video game or something where you can just simply not take damage from a dragon if you’re skilled enough or something?

                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            archpawn@lemmy.world
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #38

                            You might be able to find some cheese strat. One good trick is to use a Phantom Steed to constantly outrange your opponent. But Vicious Mockery doesn’t have enough range to make that effective.

                            I’m sure someone can figure out a method, but Vicious Mockery isn’t going to be the interesting part.

                            JackbyDevJ 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zoneI itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone

                              Wall of force lasts 10 minutes, just saying

                              A This user is from outside of this forum
                              A This user is from outside of this forum
                              archpawn@lemmy.world
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #39

                              Would it fit? I suppose technically the rules say a gargantuan creature is 20 feet by 20 feet or larger, and you can make a ten foot radius sphere with Wall of Force.

                              But also, that would give it total cover, and Vicious Mockery does not grant itself an exception from that. Message is the only one I know of that does.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • A archpawn@lemmy.world

                                You might be able to find some cheese strat. One good trick is to use a Phantom Steed to constantly outrange your opponent. But Vicious Mockery doesn’t have enough range to make that effective.

                                I’m sure someone can figure out a method, but Vicious Mockery isn’t going to be the interesting part.

                                JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                JackbyDevJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                JackbyDev
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #40

                                That’s still applying video game logic though. Dragons are smart. They wouldn’t just endlessly pursue you if they’re taking chip damage. They’d fly away. They’d fly towards cities and destroy them to make you stop. The idea one would have contingencies in place isn’t unheard of either, they’re like evil geniuses.

                                A 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • StametsS Stamets
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                                  phx@lemmy.ca
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #41

                                  See what they need is a bard who raps. A bit if speed-rap and they’d be throwing out deadly cantrips like a human machine-gun

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • V vithigar@lemmy.ca

                                    Ignoring the actual rules and mechanics is basically step one in almost every “isn’t this goofy” D&D anecdote.

                                    Not only is it not “decent damage” (even the buff it got in 5.5 just brings it from “the worst” to “poor”), it’s also not a subtle thing you can just drop on someone unsuspectingly.

                                    Spellcasting for an attack is an obvious aggressive action, which means an initiative roll comes first to see if you even manage to get it off before they clock you. It’s also not like everyone around just shrugs and lets you go about your business because all you did was hurl an insult. You attacked someone with an offensive spell, the response is exactly the same as if you threw a firebolt at them

                                    The flavor of insulting someone to death is fun, I’ll grant that, but there’s nothing special about Vicious Mockery mechanically that makes it immune to initiative order or people noticing what you’re doing.

                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    ...m...
                                    wrote on last edited by myrrh@ttrpg.network
                                    #42

                                    “You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range.”

                                    …its only component is verbal, and while it’s not subtle casting it’s fair to characterise as subtle casting; i’d argue for first-round surprise in the context of open dialog and in fact that’s how we’ve played it at my tables…

                                    V 1 Reply Last reply
                                    2
                                    • M ...m...

                                      “You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range.”

                                      …its only component is verbal, and while it’s not subtle casting it’s fair to characterise as subtle casting; i’d argue for first-round surprise in the context of open dialog and in fact that’s how we’ve played it at my tables…

                                      V This user is from outside of this forum
                                      V This user is from outside of this forum
                                      vithigar@lemmy.ca
                                      wrote on last edited by vithigar@lemmy.ca
                                      #43

                                      I’m okay with a DM ruling that it’s possible to cast it in such a way that someone is taken off guard, sure. Maybe a performance or deception vs hostile creature(s) insight rather than the typical stealth vs perception when determining surprise from sneaking, which is not RAW, but I think sounds reasonable. I’d definitely not consider it to be an automatic aspect of the spell at any table I ran.

                                      And you absolutely could not avoid a fight and just walk away from the situation with plausible deniability because you “only insulted them”.

                                      S 1 Reply Last reply
                                      3
                                      • StametsS Stamets
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                                        Mana OatbunM This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        Mana Oatbun
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #44

                                        Eminem would be so OP in D&D

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        10
                                        • W wise_pancake@lemmy.ca

                                          We all know who Kendrick Lamar is and no we aren’t going to fuck with him.

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                                          throwawaypermanente@sh.itjust.works
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #45

                                          Drake failed that perception check real hard

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          2

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