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  3. I had an argument with a relative because they’re frustrated that when they ask me a question, I reply with, “I don’t know.

I had an argument with a relative because they’re frustrated that when they ask me a question, I reply with, “I don’t know.

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  • Chris TrottierA This user is from outside of this forum
    Chris TrottierA This user is from outside of this forum
    Chris Trottier
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I had an argument with a relative because they’re frustrated that when they ask me a question, I reply with, “I don’t know. Go look it up on Wikipedia.”

    From my perspective, I’m not an expert and I won’t pretend to be one. Straightforward factual questions can be answered in seconds using the device everyone carries around that has access to nearly all recorded human knowledge. Guessing feels pointless.

    From their perspective, they aren’t asking for an answer. They’re asking for my opinion as a form of small talk, and my response shuts that down. I don’t understand why someone would ask a question they don’t want answered, but I also know I’m not neurotypical.

    If what they actually want is conversation rather than information, I think they should say that explicitly.

    CarolynC Green screen backgroundL 2 Replies Last reply
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    • Chris TrottierA Chris Trottier

      I had an argument with a relative because they’re frustrated that when they ask me a question, I reply with, “I don’t know. Go look it up on Wikipedia.”

      From my perspective, I’m not an expert and I won’t pretend to be one. Straightforward factual questions can be answered in seconds using the device everyone carries around that has access to nearly all recorded human knowledge. Guessing feels pointless.

      From their perspective, they aren’t asking for an answer. They’re asking for my opinion as a form of small talk, and my response shuts that down. I don’t understand why someone would ask a question they don’t want answered, but I also know I’m not neurotypical.

      If what they actually want is conversation rather than information, I think they should say that explicitly.

      CarolynC This user is from outside of this forum
      CarolynC This user is from outside of this forum
      Carolyn
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      @atomicpoet Sometimes it’s to hear information from a trusted source, as not everyone is good at “doing their own research.”

      Chris TrottierA 1 Reply Last reply
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      • CarolynC Carolyn

        @atomicpoet Sometimes it’s to hear information from a trusted source, as not everyone is good at “doing their own research.”

        Chris TrottierA This user is from outside of this forum
        Chris TrottierA This user is from outside of this forum
        Chris Trottier
        wrote on last edited by
        #3
        @CStamp Alas, I’m not a trusted source when it comes to most things.
        1 Reply Last reply
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        • Chris TrottierA Chris Trottier

          I had an argument with a relative because they’re frustrated that when they ask me a question, I reply with, “I don’t know. Go look it up on Wikipedia.”

          From my perspective, I’m not an expert and I won’t pretend to be one. Straightforward factual questions can be answered in seconds using the device everyone carries around that has access to nearly all recorded human knowledge. Guessing feels pointless.

          From their perspective, they aren’t asking for an answer. They’re asking for my opinion as a form of small talk, and my response shuts that down. I don’t understand why someone would ask a question they don’t want answered, but I also know I’m not neurotypical.

          If what they actually want is conversation rather than information, I think they should say that explicitly.

          Green screen backgroundL This user is from outside of this forum
          Green screen backgroundL This user is from outside of this forum
          Green screen background
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          @atomicpoet there might be something that one can respond, that doesn’t sound dismissive, and respects everyone’s boundaries. Something that conveys that one doesn’t feel like an expert, and prefers not to share their opinions on that subject. It can even become a canned/kind response to save time and energy.

          Chris TrottierA 1 Reply Last reply
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          • Green screen backgroundL Green screen background

            @atomicpoet there might be something that one can respond, that doesn’t sound dismissive, and respects everyone’s boundaries. Something that conveys that one doesn’t feel like an expert, and prefers not to share their opinions on that subject. It can even become a canned/kind response to save time and energy.

            Chris TrottierA This user is from outside of this forum
            Chris TrottierA This user is from outside of this forum
            Chris Trottier
            wrote on last edited by
            #5
            @llPK That’s going to be hard. I told them that if they want a conversation, say that explicitly—but they said that doesn’t feel natural.
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