"Oh, sounds like a woman being murdered in the next room. Huh. Well, not my problem." #Monsterdon

So, Franco was credited as a writer for this flick. Do you think the script looked like, "Scene 1, act 1: Woman: Groan. Groan. Groan."? #Monsterdon

Oh hey, someone spoke!

Stop that.

#Monsterdon

GAH, JESUS, ENOUGH WITH THE EYEBALL CLOSEUPS #Monsterdon

Oh hey, turns out SHE was the Clapper. Wondered where they put that thing. #Monsterdon

And now, enjoy a horse's ass. #Monsterdon

Glad the horses seem to speak his language, 'cos I sure as hell don't. #Monsterdon

Are we sure Jesus Franco didn't also direct Manos: The Hands of Fate?

I'm just saying, dingy camera work, almost non-existent dialogue, bad dubbing... #Monsterdon

Man, those Jehovas Witnesses just don't give up, huh. #Monsterdon

And now, Dracula on the Haunted Harpsichord. #Monsterdon

WE GET IT

THERE'S A BAT PRESENT

MOVE ON

#Monsterdon

"Oh, no you want Count DRACULA, he's two valleys over. This is the home of Count DRAGULA, sorry honey." #Monsterdon

"Okay, well... I'm just gonna go now. I... I'll call you. I had fun! ...Bye." #Monsterdon

"The salt, the pepper, the bay leaves! The green wood, the ashes, the barbecue sauce!" #Monsterdon

They couldn't afford an actual script so they just got a dude with a sound board. I'm waiting for that one synth hit they all use, you know the one. #Monsterdon

"What... Is it?"

It's a bad movie, honey. Sorry. #Monsterdon

Oh, here's tonight's Torgo! Let's all give him a round of applause, hello Torgo! #Monsterdon

Two words... Sounds like... #Monsterdon

"Yes, well, we only have Pepsi. Is that okay?" #Monsterdon

"The site said this place was an open plan, I'm gonna leave this Air BnB SUCH a review..." #Monsterdon