This page is one of the funniest I’ve seen in comics:

Here’s the PDF if anyone wants it.

The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you’re out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain’t shit.

A friend at our table struggles to roll over a 4 on a d20.

Sometimes I think Dark Leaf had it too good.

Just roll up a new character with all the same stats and a slightly different name, like everyone else.

Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play

Nope, I’m pretty sure RAW says you have to leave the rumpus room forever.

$200? What, she got like two books and shitty generic plastic figures? Big deal.

All I get from that is that D&D gives you super powers, and the author of that comic is envious because they never got invited to play.

The inflation calculator that I found online says that’s the equivalent today of about $600 compared to the mid 80s when this was written.

But yeah, that is underwhelming for having literal magic powers.

Me at the table: fuck the challenge rating, let’s do this shit!

… I’m not dead? Well that was boring.

Imagine finding 5.000 fishes when you come home.

“Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What’d you bring?” “Fish sandwiches.” “I… Um… Thanks, Jesus… Anything to drink?” “My blood.”

Whenever I see any of this guy’s work I always think of the one that was so absolutely vile even he stopped selling it. Guy’s molesting his daughter, a neighbor finds out, and instead of reporting or anything, wants in. Daughter comes up positive on an STD test at a checkup, and the doctor confronts the guy. Instead of reporting, doctor’s a Jack Chick brand Christian, so just prays with him. Guy goes home and tells his wife about what he’d been doing, and how it’s all okay, because a dead Jewish guy forgives him, so no need to suffer any actual consequences. Wife admits she knew and had been abusing the daughter for having the audacity to be molested. They call the daughter in, and she’s not a teenager or anything as might have been assumed which would be bad enough, but a straight up toddler. So she’s got a possibly lifetime illness, a lifetime of trauma, but it’s all okay, because Jesus.

That one VTM player: “Your blood? Can I diablerize the son of God? And if so, does Jesus count as a 0th generation vampire, being an aspect of God, or a 1st generation vampire, being God’s son and childe?”

Jesus is a lich

Dude’s BAC is so high his blood is wine

Sounds like a good dinner to me

Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.

Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood

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The cleric version of a lich is a Mummy Lord.