Classic
-
“Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What’d you bring?” “Fish sandwiches.” “I… Um… Thanks, Jesus… Anything to drink?” “My blood.”
Dude’s BAC is so high his blood is wine
Sounds like a good dinner to me
-
Dude’s BAC is so high his blood is wine
Sounds like a good dinner to me
Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.
-
Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.
Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood
-
Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play

*terms and conditions may apply
-
Jesus is a lich
The cleric version of a lich is a Mummy Lord.
-
Jesus is Mumm-Ra?
-
Just roll up a new character with all the same stats and a slightly different name, like everyone else.
Black Leaf is dead!
LONG LIVE GREY LEAF!
-
The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you’re out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain’t shit.
This is supposed to be Christian propaganda? So the fucked up comic by the same guy that one of the other comments is talking about is actually serious instead of being a story about how much Christianity sucks? That’s seriously fucked up …
-
This is supposed to be Christian propaganda? So the fucked up comic by the same guy that one of the other comments is talking about is actually serious instead of being a story about how much Christianity sucks? That’s seriously fucked up …
Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.
-
Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.
My kids got one instead of candy for trick-or-treating one year.

-
Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.
Definitely still do.
-
Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.
The after church crowd used to leave them instead of tips at my first restaurant
-
Just roll up a new character with all the same stats and a slightly different name, like everyone else.
According to the story, if your character dies in-game, by that point you’re so addicted to the black magic that you ultimately can’t go on living without it.
-
The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you’re out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain’t shit.
Yes, but the price of that temporary earthly magic is your immortal soul!
So, theoretically, it’s not worth it.
-
Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.
I had one left on my door once, and in the most amazing time my gyno office had a huge random stack someone left and I took every single one.
Handed them all to friends to see the batshitness.
Guy use to go to conventions and hand them out.
-
Me at the table: fuck the challenge rating, let’s do this shit!
… I’m not dead? Well that was boring.
In my current campaign, I’ve tried thrice to die. The DM always pulls some bullshit and lets me survive

-
In my current campaign, I’ve tried thrice to die. The DM always pulls some bullshit and lets me survive

I would understand the concomitant urge to act like you’re an Indestructible Demigod of Finding Out, but the wisdom of my years are telling me that you need to maybe have a heart to heart with the DM, and explain how the stakes don’t feel real if you’re always one bad roll away from a Deus Ex Machina. Tell them that they should feel free to let fate take its toll, that you accept the risk, and that you will do your level best to have any accidental deaths mean something and contribute to the story.
-
The after church crowd used to leave them instead of tips at my first restaurant
Oof. At least it’s not the fake $20 bills, I guess? Real asshole move either way.
-
This is supposed to be Christian propaganda? So the fucked up comic by the same guy that one of the other comments is talking about is actually serious instead of being a story about how much Christianity sucks? That’s seriously fucked up …
It’s not actual propaganda per se, evangelicals in particular are trying to provoke a reaction they can try to litigate. It’s a grift.
-
I would understand the concomitant urge to act like you’re an Indestructible Demigod of Finding Out, but the wisdom of my years are telling me that you need to maybe have a heart to heart with the DM, and explain how the stakes don’t feel real if you’re always one bad roll away from a Deus Ex Machina. Tell them that they should feel free to let fate take its toll, that you accept the risk, and that you will do your level best to have any accidental deaths mean something and contribute to the story.
Haha yeah, that’s definitely the right way to go, but the problem is not wrong expectations. He already DM’d a campaign for me a few years back and I knew what I was getting into. It’s just not his style. I crave for gritty old-school dungeon crawling, while he loves narrative-heavy games where dialogue takes priority and backstories tie heavily with in-game events.
It’s not all bad though, we still have fun, and my group takes turns at DMing - we all get to play what we like eventually, and offers variety in the long run. I would not play tabletop with any other group.