Wandering Adventure Party

In a job interview they asked what I was most proud of at the job before last. I told them that my evidence helped the jury convict the FD and the judge sent him down for a few years. On the way back I realised that this was not the answer they were looking for.

His fess I guess, but thought husband was sneaking off most nights to watch porn, didn't really care but curiousity got the best of me, checked his browser history. He's playing chess. At 2am. Multiple times a week. Worst part is, I saw his ELO, he's not even any good.

When I'm feeling down I read my eBay feedback. At least someone thinks I'm doing a good job. Except for that one from andyjon77789 you can fuck off.

My cat kept opening cupboards and ripping open food packets while I was at work. So I installed CCTV in the kitchen with a speaker so I can tell her her to stop from my desk at work. After 12 days she learned to knock the camera away first so I couldn't see. Clever girl.

On a frisky interrail trip in my 20s I set myself the goal of orgasming in every European country. 32 years later I sit alone in the toilet of a petrol station on the Hungary-Slovak border having completed the task. Overall not worth it.

I am fully blind. Sometimes when I meet a new person for the first time and they ask why, I'll tell them that I lost my sight from masturbating too much as a teenager. My sighted friends tell me the looks on their faces are priceless.

In a job interview, when asked what I was passionate about I went on a 10 minutes rant about the veg I was growing in my garden, I think at one point I had to pause to hold back tears when talking about my multiple attempts at courgettes - nobody stopped me, I somehow got the job