F
Anyway, this concludes this #monsterdon thread. Umm... remember not to murder people to feed your murder plant I guess? The adoration from hot girls and the money to buy your fancy dinners isn't worth it?
I think that's what we were going for?
Anyway thanks to @Taweret for hosting this, um, floral tragedy I guess?
I award Little Shop of Horrors (1960) 5 out of 5 spooky murdered face flowers, purely on the strength of how fucked up and weird it was.
Almost every sequence of dialog was baffling. Also, it was sort of a greek tragedy, just with a killer plant, and the flaw was a hunger for money and adoration? It managed to be both completely disturbed but also completely cheerful and not scary about how disturbed it was.
The plant, says "feed me" and Seymour, distraught climbs into its maw to kill himself, and appears in a new flower. His mom says "Seymour" and he replies "But I didn't mean it" before his flower falls. Then credits.
So the cops are chasing Seymour past a horde of children and through a pile of tractor tires and start shooting at him. The shop owner is there for some reason; he seems to be hindering their search by tripping them, but they don't notice.
Seymour escapes them by hiding in the toilet maze, then returns to the shop.
The ladies decided that they wouldn't give Seymour an award because the flowers haven't opened yet. Then the flowers open and they all have the faces of the murdered people inside it. Seymour runs away, and the cops chase him.
The ladies who need flowers for their float walk up to the plant, look at the MURDERED FACES and say "Oh now the float will be perfect!"
In the morning, a horde of botanical fangirls have gathered outside of the shop to give seymour an award and shower him with glory. The mom is there because her son is getting an award, and the cops are here because they think there are murders (they are right but probably also wrong).
Anyway, the ladies of the night are persistent, so they all proposition Seymour, who complains that they are too skinny and his master wants more meat. One of them "volunteers", thinking that she is signing up for a sex thing instead of a murder thing. Anyway, the mind controlled Seymour hits her with a rock then drags her back to the shop to feed the monster.
We learn that the plant has eaten enough people that it has the power of hypnosis, and it thus hypnotizes and commands Seymour to go find it more food.
He wanders trance-like through the city, past several prostitutes who are mad that he isn't interested in them. One of them trips him with a banana peel then tries to proposition him using old timey language that doesn't make sense. He replies "Master is Hungry" then wanders off.
Okay, so the shop owner tells Seymour to stay in the shop tonight. He does that but brings Audrey too so they can make out. But while they're making out the plant keeps screaming "Feed me!" and because Audrey is easily confused she thinks Seymour is talking about how hungry he is instead of kissing her, so she leaves angrily.
Seymour then berates the plant for being a total cockblock.
Yo #monsterdon which character has the most fucked up dialog in this movie?
I would list more options but I ran out of options.
An armed robber appears to get all the money that the shop is making now and threatens to shoot the shop owner. The shop owner decides to trick the robber into looking into the plants mouth, where the plant eats him.
Now they are both murderers, but the next day the owner tells newsie to get rid of the plant, because he feels worse about all the murders.
Newsie and his mom have a weird conversation where Newsie says he wants to marry Audrey, but his Mom says he's too young to marry and should play around more first and also he needs to get her an iron lung before he can get married, even though she can breathe fine.
Back at the cursed flower shop, Shop Owner is taking a nap, then the plant wakes him up by shouting "Feed Me!". Shop Owner, being unwilling to (directly) murder anyone yells back at the plant, who says it wants to eat him because he looks chonky. Then shop owner goes back to sleep.
Audrey comes to visit Seymour, introducing her to his mom and the two of them hang out at his mom's house. Because nothing in this movie is normal, the mom offers her cure to Audrey, which she says tastes like cough syrup. She corrects that it is Doctor (So-and-So's) cough syrup. The two dine on liver oil, which the mother has to cure her liver or something.
Anyway, Miss Fishtwangler is giving Newsie an award for being good at growing giant plants and will return tomorrow with a trophy.
Every random character in the shop applauds newsie for this, emphasizing his tragic flaw (being tempted by the high status of praise, which I guess leads him to accidental murder).
Some cops appear, looking for a missing dentist and a missing guy squished by a train. Shop Owner pretends to cooperate but acts Extremely Suspicious, but the cops are stupid and decide that he knows nothing so they leave. He asks Newsie to make sure that the plant doesn't grow more; Newsie said it at 3000 japanese beetles.
Then a fancy lady appears and expresses horticultural interest in the giant plant, asking if there will be more. Her names is "Fishtwangler", which is cool.
Newsie returns to the plant shop and the plant is bigger now. Shop Owner is concerned, because this implies murder happened. Love Interest thinks that Newsie is hot (I guess because his... plant... is very big) and he asks her out, so they agree to go on a date.
Then a lady appears because her son burned himself to death with matches and she needs to buy flowers I guess. This distracts newsie.
Okay, so Newsie doesn't want to go to the dentist, so naturally he gets in a dental equipment fight and murders his dentist by accident. Then an Awkward Undertaker with Toothpain appears and Newsie pretends to be the dentist so the Undertaker will stop sitting in the lobby reading a magazine about pain, then he drills random teeth until the pain stops.
Then Newsie takes the dentists' body and feeds it to the murder plant apologetically.
Characters in this #monsterdon
Newsie aka Seymour (main human character, murders people on accident)
Flesh Eating Plant (main monster character)
Slavic Shop Owner (tragic flaw: greed)
Audrey aka Love Interest for every character (virtue: orchestral improv)
Random Guys (various)
Sadistic Dentist
Babushka
Girls Needing Float Flowers
Uncomfortable Undertaker
Beat Cop Voiceover
Shop Owner accosts Newsie, who he knows is a murderer, but who also has a toothache. He asks what type of plant it is, and Newsie says its a Venus Fly Trap but doesn't think it needs to eat again. This gives shopowner an unspoken excuse to not turn in Newsie for murder, as he can now pretend that the plant won't eat anyone else.
Newsie, whose real name is Seymour I guess, has to go to the dentist, at which he sees another patient run screaming out of the office.