@NullNowhere I feel like there's an inevitably necessary thing to be said here: Dungeons and Dragons is not the only RPG. Doing all the things that you seem to expect as part of playing Dungeons and Dragons is not necessary even for D&D, but you don't even have the issue if you play something else.
Hell, we have entire decade-old games, or longer, which are all about zero prep, light work, show up and play, have a good time. If you're not playing those games, that's not on you, and it's not even really on the expectations of your players. Play one of them. Go pick up Ironsworn for free and start playing alongside the other people at your table rather than GMing. Go pick up Follow from Lame Mage and really enjoy its lightweight playstyle. Pick up Dragonbane if you want something a little more classic in architecture but filled with dynamism.
The expectations that you're fighting are yours, not someone else's.