Study Finds 93% Of Murders Solved By Consulting Victim’s Pet Parrot

WASHINGTON—According to a nationwide crime study by the FBI’s National Incident-Based Reporting System, just over 93% of all murder cases solved by local, state, and federal police in the past 10 years were resolved by consulting the victim’s beloved pet parrot. “In some cases, the break is simple and the bird will squawk the kill…
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https://theonion.com/study-finds-93-of-murders-solved-by-consulting-victims-pet-parrot/