Report: More Americans Forced To Make Ends Meet By Turning To Alchemy

WASHINGTON—According to a report released this week by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a record number of Americans are finding themselves forced to make ends meet by retreating into their underground laboratories and practicing alchemy. “Even though I work long hours at my warehouse job, I still won’t be able to pay the bill…
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https://theonion.com/report-more-americans-forced-to-make-ends-meet-by-turning-to-alchemy/