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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    eskeE This user is from outside of this forum
    eskeE This user is from outside of this forum
    eske
    wrote on last edited by
    #112

    @vkc I'll fight sexual harassment anyday.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • Matthew LoxtonM Matthew Loxton

      @RegGuy

      I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

      I think three things are going on:
      1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
      2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
      3. I am not in those environments
      @bob @vkc

      Sriram "sri" Ramkrishna -  😼S This user is from outside of this forum
      Sriram "sri" Ramkrishna -  😼S This user is from outside of this forum
      Sriram "sri" Ramkrishna - 😼
      wrote on last edited by
      #113

      @mloxton @RegGuy @bob @vkc which is why you believe women / PoC when they point it out.

      JustBobB 1 Reply Last reply
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      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

        MinaM This user is from outside of this forum
        MinaM This user is from outside of this forum
        Mina
        wrote on last edited by
        #114

        @vkc

        So sorry, you had to go through this!

        Just because we're in "the good place", we shouldn't assume that misogyny, racism and other ugly stuff doesn't find its way here.

        It definitely exists, and it often hides behind false solidarity ("They're a good one, look at all the good they wrote and did. You misunderstood and are just overreacting.")

        Awareness is the first step.

        Abuse has to fought everywhere!

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • Sriram "sri" Ramkrishna -  😼S Sriram "sri" Ramkrishna - 😼

          @mloxton @RegGuy @bob @vkc which is why you believe women / PoC when they point it out.

          JustBobB This user is from outside of this forum
          JustBobB This user is from outside of this forum
          JustBob
          wrote on last edited by
          #115

          @sri @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

          At the same time. Ive met people whl felt they were wronged...

          Not saying id not believe them but keeping that in mind...

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            Lydia SchochL This user is from outside of this forum
            Lydia SchochL This user is from outside of this forum
            Lydia Schoch
            wrote on last edited by
            #116

            @vkc This is such a frustratingly common experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

              iamsI This user is from outside of this forum
              iamsI This user is from outside of this forum
              iams
              wrote on last edited by
              #117

              @vkc I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this experience (when I was young many women stayed silent -- I couldn't back them up when I didn't know what was going on and it weighs on me). I come to fedi/masto to get away from the bullshit, and I'm so sorry to know it is here too. I do my part to call out abuse when I see/hear it around me. I just want to say being dragged into a fight for existing is fucking awful, and you're not alone in being pissed-off. Fuck those assholes.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • The WookieN The Wookie

                @vkc

                Sorry this happen to you. There are fighters out there but it's a tough fight and big Fediverse.

                Fedi needs a hashtag that is a call to action to fight harassment and bigotry. Blocking or muting isn't enough. There should be a way to call in the Calvary to defend those being attacked.

                Simply reply with #StompTheBully (or something) and the good guys show up to shut things down. Summon the guard dogs and we'll show up. As 6'5" father of a mess of daughters nothing makes me happier when my crew needs me for some "Big Dog Energy".

                Stingray's Badger FriendS This user is from outside of this forum
                Stingray's Badger FriendS This user is from outside of this forum
                Stingray's Badger Friend
                wrote on last edited by
                #118

                @NJWookie @vkc

                Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                Gabriel Viso CarreraG The WookieN 2 Replies Last reply
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                • Mx VerdaM Mx Verda

                  @eq @vkc idk how much it helps (if at all), but it might help to focus on the problem (excluding behaviours) rather than groups (humans are a let down).
                  Like... less "the situation will always be shit" ("we can't have nice things") and more "That sounds very frustrating; I don't wish that for you or anyone else".
                  Maybe with a dash of "I try to fight it where I can, but XYZ tends to happen. Anyone got any advice while we're on the topic?"
                  Or "I might try [whatever other suggestions]."

                  Idk. I'm not an expert

                  ❣️a standard deviant +/- gravyM This user is from outside of this forum
                  ❣️a standard deviant +/- gravyM This user is from outside of this forum
                  ❣️a standard deviant +/- gravy
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #119

                  @MxVerda @eq @vkc

                  i'm sort of a... i will cut them, just point me to whom, type of person. and then secondly, fuck this system burn it down. and then thirdly, let me help in providing examples of an alternate system that is more just and serves humanity better.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                    @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

                    I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

                    It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

                    CheesenessC This user is from outside of this forum
                    CheesenessC This user is from outside of this forum
                    Cheeseness
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #120

                    @vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.

                    This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • Stingray's Badger FriendS Stingray's Badger Friend

                      @NJWookie @vkc

                      Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                      Gabriel Viso CarreraG This user is from outside of this forum
                      Gabriel Viso CarreraG This user is from outside of this forum
                      Gabriel Viso Carrera
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #121

                      @StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

                      If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

                      The WookieN 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                        C SawulaC This user is from outside of this forum
                        C SawulaC This user is from outside of this forum
                        C Sawula
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #122

                        @vkc fwiw you’re a great presence online and I will be checking out peertube more largely because you’re putting content on there

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                          DonCCD This user is from outside of this forum
                          DonCCD This user is from outside of this forum
                          DonCC
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #123

                          @vkc
                          gah!!! so sorry to hear that.

                          1 Reply Last reply
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                          • moondog548M moondog548

                            @haltroy
                            And just like any disease we'll keep fighting it.
                            @Orb2069 @vkc

                            Orb 2069O This user is from outside of this forum
                            Orb 2069O This user is from outside of this forum
                            Orb 2069
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #124

                            @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

                            @haltroy @vkc

                            moondog548M 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              Rachel (Toxic Femininity Arc)Y This user is from outside of this forum
                              Rachel (Toxic Femininity Arc)Y This user is from outside of this forum
                              Rachel (Toxic Femininity Arc)
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #125

                              @vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it ♥️

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                Ciela-An Orca AllyC This user is from outside of this forum
                                Ciela-An Orca AllyC This user is from outside of this forum
                                Ciela-An Orca Ally
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #126

                                @vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • AlexA Alex

                                  @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                                  Viral ObscurityV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Viral ObscurityV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Viral Obscurity
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #127

                                  @alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z

                                  I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself

                                  Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things

                                  Complete failure to read the room right there

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • Gabriel Viso CarreraG Gabriel Viso Carrera

                                    @StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

                                    If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

                                    The WookieN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    The WookieN This user is from outside of this forum
                                    The Wookie
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #128

                                    @gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.

                                    Gabriel Viso CarreraG 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • Stingray's Badger FriendS Stingray's Badger Friend

                                      @NJWookie @vkc

                                      Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

                                      The WookieN This user is from outside of this forum
                                      The WookieN This user is from outside of this forum
                                      The Wookie
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #129

                                      @StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • Orb 2069O Orb 2069

                                        @moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

                                        @haltroy @vkc

                                        moondog548M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        moondog548M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        moondog548
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #130

                                        @Orb2069
                                        Hell yes! I'm already a patron of that channel.
                                        @haltroy @vkc

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • Veronica ExplainsV Veronica Explains

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          membranaM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          membranaM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          membrana
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #131

                                          @vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.

                                          My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.

                                          Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.

                                          Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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