gotta update that for some rizz and skibidi or something

Literally can’t read that name without the voice.

Relevant xkcd

Randall Munroe is a time traveler.

Don’t even have to click it to know which is it.

Randall Munroe is omnicient.

Typical Malkavian

My penis is bleeding.

Alternatively: vampires who still don’t know how to use any slang that evolved after their own youth.

“I’m carrying this team like the beast with two backs”

“Never look a Trojan horse in the mouth”

“She was so mad her face launched a thousand ships”

“If circuses had bread, then the clowns wouldn’t eat lost children”

My eyes are bleeding

Morrissey: “please, please tell me why, a vampire bit me in the eye”.

Unhand me, rizzless jive-turkey!