Wait, that’s illegal, I think…

That’s a much better advice. Much worse joke though.

The whole We play a game so you have to cooperate together even if role-play wise it makes no sense is a bad practice, May-be not at the point you’ll leave the table but definitely a serious sign that the table doesn’t function properly.

Luckily, there is a very easy fix Do a session zero, and build a coherent party ab initio, it include in game reason for the party to work together, coherent goals (because when player A wants to abolish the reign of the emperor, and player B wants to defend the emperor you’ll have a PvP fight within 3 session) and a meta discussion to have a pallet of skills matching the party’s goal (At least in more epic game where you don’t want to feel powerless). Almost every RPG published in the last 10-15 years contains an extensive session zero guide and tons of tips to build a relevant party.

If someone wants to play a law priest in a pirate campaign or any other character not fitting the campaign theme or opposing other PCs, it’s perfectly OK to tell the no. Obviously if everybody is aligned on some PvP and betrayal the answer may be different, but it’s again something to address in session zero.

::: spoiler spoiler asfasdfasdfas :::

I have been a Dungeon Master for over 25 years. I am also a longtime anarchist, and many of my regular players are not.

I have three rules if im going to DM: 1) I pick the game system. Sorry, non-negotiable. I’ll play 5e (if I have to) but I won’t run it. Luckily, I also don’t have to run the same game my players are playing. Yall can use Worlds Without Number, Into The Odd, the Rules Cyclopedia, Mork Borg… what goes on on my end is my own thing (and involves plenty of the RC) 2) Party resources are communal. However you wanna work that out is up to you, but if you steal from The Party, The Gods will Curse You. And 3) You have to be willing to work in a group. This isn’t Skyrim, its a party game. The whole point is social problem solving. If you’re not up for that, its cool, I won’t make you talk or anything - but you gotta be a part of the team. Part of that is on me to make the initial hook good enough, but part of it is on you not to run a counterproductive pain in my ass.

I almost never have any problems if I do my job right and make all this clear and understood off the bat.

DCC/MCC likes character funnels for similar reasons

I just don’t DM for people like that anymore.

Oh god I might when my kids and their friends are older though. This is why you gotta raise em right.

100% this. Have a conversation about expectations before you begin. DnD is a little bit game, a little bit therapy. The DM isn’t your Unity Engine. Make sure everyone is on board for the same experience and you’ll be fine.

Meeting people with the inclination and schedule that I enjoy the company of to make a party with is the worst part of d&d. Please don’t make me role play it, too.

I recently tried to DM for my son and his friends. One of his friends insisted he wanted to be a DM. I tried to gently encourage him to allow me to DM for them, and he would have much more fun as a player. Nope, he insisted, and like a good DM, I let him discover for himself why he was wrong. It was fun to be a player character, and they all learned a lot about running a game, so wins all around.

Nobody in here is saying “even if rp wise it makes no sense”. We’re saying exactly what you are - the DM and the players set boundaries as to what kind of game they wanna play and are willing to, and then you make PCs.

Don’t be an edgelord Rogue who’s too cool to work with anyone else. Go play Skyrim.

One day I’ll play Shadowrun… I’m too lazy to learn it well enough to DM it.

I’m a big fan of “you all wake up in loincloths sitting in a wagon, hands bound” and as long as someone at the table can roll higher than a 1, they can break free.

Or something attacks them while they’re all in a tavern

Basically I’m a fan of “you could ignore having your shit kicked in, but will you?” since so many players would stop at nothing.

Fallout NV had the right idea. “Where’s that little fucker who shot me in the head?!”

That’s awesome!

I started running games for my wife and her niblings, and the oldest boy is getting into that “I’m such a rebel” phase where they think they’re bad ass for taking slightly longer to do a chore than needed and say “no” the first time you ask them to do something.

He thought it was hilarious to have a character that refused to join the rest of the group, so I said “okay, you can stay at the inn if you want” and then proceeded to intentionally ignore anything he was saying or doing, leaving him out of rolls, and never addressing him.

He’s 12 and started literally crying to his mother about how we’re all being mean to him. Apparently “he had the opportunity to participate and chose not to” wasn’t a good enough response to his mother. I stand by my choice. Although my wife managed to convince me to let him “rejoin” at the next town/session.

He doesn’t pull that shit anymore though, when he’s playing he’s playing or he gets shut out again.

Genuine question to anyone reading: does that make me a bad DM? If so, suggestions on how to handle it?

For me, as a DM, real shit always happens on session 1, you swim together or fucking die.

I have found it productive to make part of the character creation prompt a motivation for the main plot. Like tell me your class and backstory and all that, and then also tell me why you want to be on this adventure

I absolutely used to be that “my character is a quiet rogue-ish type that definitely wasn’t modeled after Aragorn when he was introduced at the Prancing Pony mixed with Robin hood” who always “had to be convinced” to join, and nobody ever called me out for it. I honestly wish they had because that’s annoying as fuck and you miss out on playing an actually fully developed character.

Nowadays I tend to be less tactful that you are, but essentially tell people the same thing, or literally beat their characters over the head with ambushes.

I GM public games and games at conventions, so sometimes it still crops up. People don’t always make it readily apparent ahead of game time that they’re going to pull shenanigans like this.

Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?