Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
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@byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).
Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.
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I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.
I think three things are going on:
1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
3. I am not in those environments
@bob @vkc@mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc +1000000
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@byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).
Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Hugs if you want them, a nod if you don't. Sorry you had to endure that bullshit again.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I will never understand why some people just love to be shitheads.
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@semitones thanks for bringing that up ๐ฉท seems like a good time to boost that post again.
@alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post
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@mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc
@RegGuy
At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention
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@moondog548 as one of their peers, you can have a huge impact on toxic behavior in 3-5 simple words:
"Dude, not cool."
"What the fuck, man?"
"Hey, that was fucked up."Pick whatever variation works best for your peer group, and snap back with it as soon as the bullshit leaves their mouth. Be upset and make it uncomfortable for a moment. Don't let them brush it off as a joke.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
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@vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Goddammit. Men suck (as a man).
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There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality
Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)
- Not cool dude
- that's fucked up
- ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuffBut above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff
And keep in mind: some men will just be monsters. No amount of social pressure or calling out will work on them as they keep making those remarks
In those instances - ostracize them from your life, and warn others. Do not accept them as "quirky but harmless". Because it will escalate, and will draw in others. That will prompt "but he says it, and it's accepted so I should be able to say it as well"
> Silence now is implied endorsement later.
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There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality
Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)
- Not cool dude
- that's fucked up
- ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuffBut above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Iโm very sorry to hear this. Just this morning I watched your videos on installing Linux on Chromebooks and comparing standard Mint to Debian Mint (loved the visual REM reference, btw). And a few days ago your video about installing Linux on M1 Macs inspired me to do just that.
Youโre doing great work, and I really appreciate you being on PeerTube. Thanks much!
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc had some best way not engage ignore block report.
if you engage, you already lost.
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@RegGuy
At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention
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@bob
There is something like that afaik
Not sure if it wound up as an app, but women were circulating a blocklist of known gremlins -
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
I just can send you hugs, and apple pies.
