Dude you can't seriously be doing a secret lizard people invasion plot in two-thousand and fucking four

You should know better than that. -_-; #Monsterdon

I SAID I'M ALL RIGHT, NOW TAKE THAT DNA SAMPLE TO THE LAB #Monsterdon

"Stand easy."

I'm not sure this movie can relax that far. #Monsterdon

Been a long time since I've hard a soundtrack use an electric guitar to leer like that. #Monsterdon

This film wasn't written, it was stitched together out of a vat of cliches. #Monsterdon

He shot Colonel Sanders! Oh the fried chicken! #Monsterdon

Not gonna lie, I was expecting Brent Spiner in there. #Monsterdon

"Resistance is--"

*paramount cocks a rifle offstage*

"...Useless!" #Monsterdon

"He's forcing me to relive yanni's greatest hits in my mind! Oh god!" #Monsterdon

Sinister xylophone. #Monsterdon

FOLLOW MY ORDERS

BY MY BEEFY CHIN #Monsterdon

Everyone in this movie owned an iMac and thought the Macarena was amazing. #Monsterdon

Couldn't have a moment where explosions weren't happening, could you movie? #Monsterdon

The motorcycles are a *metaphor* you see #Monsterdon

Gay sex is *so complicated* good lord... #Monsterdon

Hm. Nope, you totally lost me, I have no idea where these two are in relation to each other now. #Monsterdon

C'mon, do the Akira slide, you know you want to. #Monsterdon

The cinematic equivalent of a six year old on three bowls of Sugar Frosted Cocoa Bombs at 6am. #Monsterdon

Oh yeah, Godzilla's kid is in this one. I forgot. #Monsterdon

"I think I'll call him Milla!"

He'll star in multiple Resident Evil movies and a weird Joan of Arc thing! #Monsterdon