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    Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding FlowerPARIS—Clutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members of the French populace were reportedly brought to tears Friday by a cartoon of a robot holding a flower. “Technology has made us into zombies, and yet here is a robot showing us the truth,” said […]T…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/entire-french-populace-moved-to-tears-by-cartoon-of-robot-holding-flower/
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    Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding FlowerPARIS—Clutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members of the French populace were reportedly brought to tears Friday by a cartoon of a robot holding a flower. “Technology has made us into zombies, and yet here is a robot showing us the truth,” said […]T…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/entire-french-populace-moved-to-tears-by-cartoon-of-robot-holding-flower/
  • Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In Microwave

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    Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In MicrowaveWASHINGTON—Checking to see if the prestigious award was real by placing the medal on the glass turntable and hitting the potato button, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly microwaved the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. “Look, look, I think it’s starting to melt!” said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who pressed his […]The post Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-boys-put-nobel-peace-prize-in-microwave/
  • Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In Microwave

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    Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In MicrowaveWASHINGTON—Checking to see if the prestigious award was real by placing the medal on the glass turntable and hitting the potato button, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly microwaved the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. “Look, look, I think it’s starting to melt!” said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who pressed his […]The post Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-boys-put-nobel-peace-prize-in-microwave/
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    Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In CanadaLOS ANGELES—Saying they wished she would just be honest with them, friends of multiplatinum recording artist Katy Perry expressed skepticism this week about her alleged powerful boyfriend who lives in Canada. “Katy keeps going on and on about this new guy, but every time one of us asks when we’ll get to …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/
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    Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In CanadaLOS ANGELES—Saying they wished she would just be honest with them, friends of multiplatinum recording artist Katy Perry expressed skepticism this week about her alleged powerful boyfriend who lives in Canada. “Katy keeps going on and on about this new guy, but every time one of us asks when we’ll get to …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/
  • Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky

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    Artist Profile: A$AP RockyRapper A$AP Rocky has released Don’t Be Dumb, his first album in eight years. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.  Genre: Brand collaboration Famous Relatives: Rihanna’s kids Biggest Career Risk: Nodding off during Smurfs premiere Citations From Massachusetts Department Of Fish And Game: Three Personal Style: Businessman who sprinted through […]The post Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky app…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/artist-profile-aap-rocky/
  • Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky

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    Artist Profile: A$AP RockyRapper A$AP Rocky has released Don’t Be Dumb, his first album in eight years. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.  Genre: Brand collaboration Famous Relatives: Rihanna’s kids Biggest Career Risk: Nodding off during Smurfs premiere Citations From Massachusetts Department Of Fish And Game: Three Personal Style: Businessman who sprinted through […]The post Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky app…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/artist-profile-aap-rocky/
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    Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold CadaverThe post Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/stephen-miller-unwinds-from-long-day-by-cracking-open-cold-cadaver/
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    Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold CadaverThe post Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/stephen-miller-unwinds-from-long-day-by-cracking-open-cold-cadaver/
  • Diana Chin and Tim Galchot

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    Diana Chin and Tim GalchotChin married Galchot in what is being described as a decisive coup d’état against the groom’s 13-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.The post Diana Chin and Tim Galchot appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/diana-chin-and-tim-galchot/
  • Diana Chin and Tim Galchot

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    Diana Chin and Tim GalchotChin married Galchot in what is being described as a decisive coup d’état against the groom’s 13-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.The post Diana Chin and Tim Galchot appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/diana-chin-and-tim-galchot/
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    Onus Of Giving Parents Grandchildren Placed On Least Fucked-Up SiblingDENVER—Acknowledging the grim reality of their underwhelming romantic prospects, chronic disorganization, and lackluster employment outlook, the adult Patterson children confirmed Friday that the onus of giving their parents grandchildren had been placed on the least fucked-up sibling. “At least Liz has a job and lives in …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/onus-of-giving-parents-grandchildren-placed-on-least-fucked-up-sibling/
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    Onus Of Giving Parents Grandchildren Placed On Least Fucked-Up SiblingDENVER—Acknowledging the grim reality of their underwhelming romantic prospects, chronic disorganization, and lackluster employment outlook, the adult Patterson children confirmed Friday that the onus of giving their parents grandchildren had been placed on the least fucked-up sibling. “At least Liz has a job and lives in …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/onus-of-giving-parents-grandchildren-placed-on-least-fucked-up-sibling/
  • ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S.

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    ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S.The trend of “house burping,”  based on the German practice of “lüften” or briefly opening windows to refresh indoor air, has taken off in the U.S., with proponents claiming the practice improves air quality. What do you think?The post ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S. appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/house-burping-gains-popularity-in-u-s/
  • ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S.

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    ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S.The trend of “house burping,”  based on the German practice of “lüften” or briefly opening windows to refresh indoor air, has taken off in the U.S., with proponents claiming the practice improves air quality. What do you think?The post ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S. appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/house-burping-gains-popularity-in-u-s/
  • Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child

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    Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth ChildSecond Lady Usha Vance announced she and Vice President JD Vance are expecting their fourth child amid public speculation about the health of their relationship. What do you think?The post Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/usha-vance-announces-pregnancy-with-fourth-child/
  • Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child

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    Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth ChildSecond Lady Usha Vance announced she and Vice President JD Vance are expecting their fourth child amid public speculation about the health of their relationship. What do you think?The post Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/usha-vance-announces-pregnancy-with-fourth-child/
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    ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of JusticeWASHINGTON—Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal operations, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Thursday that being in the privacy of one’s own home would now be deemed an obstruction of justice. “When an individual enters their residence, concea…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/ice-deems-being-in-privacy-of-own-home-obstruction-of-justice/
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    ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of JusticeWASHINGTON—Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal operations, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Thursday that being in the privacy of one’s own home would now be deemed an obstruction of justice. “When an individual enters their residence, concea…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/ice-deems-being-in-privacy-of-own-home-obstruction-of-justice/