Wandering Adventure Party

MrBeast Offers $50,000 To Anyone Who Can Survive Seeing What Lies Beneath His MaskGREENVILLE, NC—Touting the contest as his most exciting competition to date, internet personality Jimmy “MrBeast” Donaldson reportedly offered $50,000 Monday to anyone who could survive seeing what lies beneath his mask. “I have an awesome new challenge today for anyone who can peek under my face and …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/mrbeast-offers-50000-to-anyone-who-can-survive-seeing-what-lies-beneath-his-mask/

Kansas Revokes 1,700 Licenses For Being TransgenderIn Kansas, 1,700 residents had their driver’s licenses invalidated for being transgender, with the law also invalidating birth certificates for those who updated their gender markers. What do you think?The post Kansas Revokes 1,700 Licenses For Being Transgender appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/kansas-revokes-1700-licenses-for-being-transgender/

‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake LineThe post ‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/good-oscars-good-oscars-repeat-nominees-in-forced-post-ceremony-handshake-line/

Joel Edgerton Going Nuts In Hopes Of Getting On Oscars JumbotronLOS ANGELES—Waving his arms wildly over his head and yelling as part of an apparent effort to attract attention, actor Joel Edgerton was reportedly going nuts Sunday in hopes of getting on the Academy Awards jumbotron. “Over here, over here!” said the 51-year-old Train Dreams star, who leapt from his seat and cried out upon spotting a…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/joel-edgerton-going-nuts-in-hopes-of-getting-on-oscars-jumbotron/

Timothée Chalamet Kicked Out Of Oscars For Bringing In Outside AwardLOS ANGELES—After flouting rules put in place to protect decorum at the Academy’s biggest night, actor Timothée Chalamet was reportedly kicked out of the Oscars ceremony Sunday evening for bringing in an outside award. “Hey, wait, I promise I won’t take it out during the show,” said the 30-year-old Marty Supreme star, who was …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/timothee-chalamet-kicked-out-of-oscars-for-bringing-in-outside-award/

@theonion@bots.defencegeeks.net how is this even supposed to be taken as parody???

Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 YearsThe British Parliament voted to end centuries of political tradition by removing hereditary aristocrats from its unelected House of Lords, ousting dozens of dukes, earls, and viscounts who inherited their seats along with their aristocratic titles. What do you think?The post Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/britain-ejects-hereditary-nobles-from-parliament-after-700-years/

@X31Andy @feisty_lemming @theonion Yeah the Onion is a little tricky, because they let you think they make it all up, and then you dig back a bit ...Like this one:https://theonion.com/trump-defends-wearing-fruit-hat-samba-dancing-during-dignified-transfer/... which isn't as over the top as it should be.

U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last WeekThe post U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/u-s-suffers-additional-casualties-in-war-it-won-last-week/

Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Screams, ‘Fuck! I’m Dying!’WASHINGTON—Further fueling speculation that the commander-in-chief might have undisclosed medical conditions, rumors regarding President Trump’s health swirled Friday after he screamed, “Fuck! I’m dying!” during a press conference. “Fuck! I’m fucking dying! Oh God, it hurts! Ahhhhhhh!” Trump said in response to a question about the ongoin…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/health-speculations-swirl-after-trump-screams-fuck-im-dying/

Uber Introduces Women-Only Option NationwideUber launched a feature that allows both women riders and drivers across the U.S. to be exclusively matched with other women for trips, expanding a pilot program intended to address safety concerns. What do you think?The post Uber Introduces Women-Only Option Nationwide appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/uber-introduces-women-only-option-nationwide/

The Onion’s 2026 Oscars Best Picture GuideThe 98th Academy Awards will take place March 15 at the Dolby Theater. The Onion examines the 10 contenders in this year’s Best Picture race.  Bugonia Synopsis: A conspiracy theorist attempts to uncover a CEO’s sinister plot that is oddly devoid of pedophiles. Defining Line: “Prepare to be bald, idiot!” Prospects: Slim, but they said […]The post The Onion’s 2026 Oscars Best Pic…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/the-onions-2026-oscars-best-picture-guide/

Study: Humans Evolved Opposable Thumbs To Signal ‘All Good’ To Buddies After Falling Off RoofLOS ANGELES—In a discovery many have hailed as a milestone in the field, a new study published Friday by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that humans likely developed opposable thumbs to signal “all good” to their buddies after falling off the roof. “…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/study-humans-evolved-opposable-thumbs-to-signal-all-good-to-buddies-after-falling-off-roof/

‘Do It!’ Shout Wincing Trump Boys Cutting Off Hair To Avoid DraftWASHINGTON—Whimpering at the butter knife clutched in his brother’s hand, a wincing Donald Trump Jr. reportedly shouted “Do it!” Wednesday as he and Eric Trump prepared to cut off their hair to avoid a U.S. military draft. “Come on, Eric, do it quick, before I change my mind,” said Donald Jr., who squeezed his eyes […]The post ‘Do It!…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/do-it-shout-wincing-trump-boys-cutting-off-hair-to-avoid-draft/

Justin Trudeau Finally Comfortable Enough To Keep Brown Face Paint At Katy Perry’sMONTREAL—Admitting that he initially felt a little shy about storing his toiletries there, former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told reporters Friday that he was finally comfortable enough to keep an extra jar of his brown face paint at girlfriend Katy Perry’s house. “Things have gotten pret…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/justin-trudeau-finally-comfortable-enough-to-keep-brown-face-paint-at-katy-perrys/

Political Profile: James TalaricoJames Talarico is the Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate in Texas. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the rising star.  Age: Whippersnapper Inspirational Backstory: Survived several hours talking to Joe Rogan Religion: Oh yeah, lots of that Key Endorsements: God (Presbyterian), God (Catholic), God (Jewish), and God (Sikh)   Level On Grant-Rogers Folksiness […]The post Political P…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/political-profile-james-talarico/

Oreo and BinxYou bring a bunch of kittens into this world, you gotta do what’s right.The post Oreo and Binx appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/oreo-and-binx/

Horse Cast As Horse In Live Action ‘Tangled’ RemakeThe post Horse Cast As Horse In Live Action ‘Tangled’ Remake appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/horse-cast-as-horse-in-live-action-tangled-remake/

Trump, Mitch McConnell Clash In Oval Office Over Where They AreWASHINGTON—In a heated exchange that laid bare a growing schism at the highest levels of Republican leadership, President Donald Trump and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) reportedly clashed in the Oval Office Thursday over the question of where they were, with McConnell insisting they were at church and Trump maintaining with increasing irri…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-mitch-mcconnell-clash-in-oval-office-over-where-they-are/

Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter CrashThe post Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/laker-fans-furious-as-bam-adebayo-dies-in-even-worse-helicopter-crash/