Wandering Adventure Party

Disney Exec Reminds Toddler Only IP Goes On FridgeBURBANK, CA—Encouraging the child to explore the conglomerate’s vast catalog of characters and copyrights, Disney executive John Ervin reminded his 2-year-old daughter on Monday that only artwork featuring the company’s intellectual property was permitted on the fridge. “That’s very creative, Edie, but unfortunately it has no existing fan base,” said the 49-year…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/disney-exec-reminds-toddler-only-ip-goes-on-fridge/

Nothing Ever Good Enough For CaptiveOVERLAND PARK, KS—Expressing frustration that his efforts to be accommodating continue to go unappreciated, area man Thomas Kemps confirmed Monday that nothing is ever good enough for the woman he has been holding captive in his basement for the past 39 days. “I give and I give, and what do I get in return? Not a single genuine thank-you,” […]The post Nothing Ever Good Enough For Captive …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/nothing-ever-good-enough-for-captive/

Squirrel Plays Off Falling Out Of Tree Like He Totally Meant ToThe post Squirrel Plays Off Falling Out Of Tree Like He Totally Meant To appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/squirrel-plays-off-falling-out-of-tree-like-he-totally-meant-to/

Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ RerunThe post Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/rams-seahawks-game-preempted-by-everybody-hates-chris-rerun/

https://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/ #Humor #Satire #Music #Canada #TheOnion

Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding FlowerPARIS—Clutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members of the French populace were reportedly brought to tears Friday by a cartoon of a robot holding a flower. “Technology has made us into zombies, and yet here is a robot showing us the truth,” said […]T…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/entire-french-populace-moved-to-tears-by-cartoon-of-robot-holding-flower/

Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding FlowerPARIS—Clutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members of the French populace were reportedly brought to tears Friday by a cartoon of a robot holding a flower. “Technology has made us into zombies, and yet here is a robot showing us the truth,” said […]T…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/entire-french-populace-moved-to-tears-by-cartoon-of-robot-holding-flower/

Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In MicrowaveWASHINGTON—Checking to see if the prestigious award was real by placing the medal on the glass turntable and hitting the potato button, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly microwaved the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. “Look, look, I think it’s starting to melt!” said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who pressed his […]The post Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-boys-put-nobel-peace-prize-in-microwave/

Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In MicrowaveWASHINGTON—Checking to see if the prestigious award was real by placing the medal on the glass turntable and hitting the potato button, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly microwaved the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. “Look, look, I think it’s starting to melt!” said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who pressed his […]The post Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-boys-put-nobel-peace-prize-in-microwave/

Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In CanadaLOS ANGELES—Saying they wished she would just be honest with them, friends of multiplatinum recording artist Katy Perry expressed skepticism this week about her alleged powerful boyfriend who lives in Canada. “Katy keeps going on and on about this new guy, but every time one of us asks when we’ll get to …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/

Katy Perry’s Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In CanadaLOS ANGELES—Saying they wished she would just be honest with them, friends of multiplatinum recording artist Katy Perry expressed skepticism this week about her alleged powerful boyfriend who lives in Canada. “Katy keeps going on and on about this new guy, but every time one of us asks when we’ll get to …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/katy-perrys-friends-skeptical-of-alleged-powerful-boyfriend-who-lives-in-canada/

Artist Profile: A$AP RockyRapper A$AP Rocky has released Don’t Be Dumb, his first album in eight years. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.  Genre: Brand collaboration Famous Relatives: Rihanna’s kids Biggest Career Risk: Nodding off during Smurfs premiere Citations From Massachusetts Department Of Fish And Game: Three Personal Style: Businessman who sprinted through […]The post Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky app…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/artist-profile-aap-rocky/

Artist Profile: A$AP RockyRapper A$AP Rocky has released Don’t Be Dumb, his first album in eight years. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.  Genre: Brand collaboration Famous Relatives: Rihanna’s kids Biggest Career Risk: Nodding off during Smurfs premiere Citations From Massachusetts Department Of Fish And Game: Three Personal Style: Businessman who sprinted through […]The post Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky app…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/artist-profile-aap-rocky/

Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold CadaverThe post Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/stephen-miller-unwinds-from-long-day-by-cracking-open-cold-cadaver/

Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold CadaverThe post Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/stephen-miller-unwinds-from-long-day-by-cracking-open-cold-cadaver/

Diana Chin and Tim GalchotChin married Galchot in what is being described as a decisive coup d’état against the groom’s 13-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.The post Diana Chin and Tim Galchot appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/diana-chin-and-tim-galchot/

Diana Chin and Tim GalchotChin married Galchot in what is being described as a decisive coup d’état against the groom’s 13-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.The post Diana Chin and Tim Galchot appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/diana-chin-and-tim-galchot/

Onus Of Giving Parents Grandchildren Placed On Least Fucked-Up SiblingDENVER—Acknowledging the grim reality of their underwhelming romantic prospects, chronic disorganization, and lackluster employment outlook, the adult Patterson children confirmed Friday that the onus of giving their parents grandchildren had been placed on the least fucked-up sibling. “At least Liz has a job and lives in …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/onus-of-giving-parents-grandchildren-placed-on-least-fucked-up-sibling/

Onus Of Giving Parents Grandchildren Placed On Least Fucked-Up SiblingDENVER—Acknowledging the grim reality of their underwhelming romantic prospects, chronic disorganization, and lackluster employment outlook, the adult Patterson children confirmed Friday that the onus of giving their parents grandchildren had been placed on the least fucked-up sibling. “At least Liz has a job and lives in …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/onus-of-giving-parents-grandchildren-placed-on-least-fucked-up-sibling/

‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S.The trend of “house burping,”  based on the German practice of “lüften” or briefly opening windows to refresh indoor air, has taken off in the U.S., with proponents claiming the practice improves air quality. What do you think?The post ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S. appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/house-burping-gains-popularity-in-u-s/