Wandering Adventure Party

‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S.The trend of “house burping,”  based on the German practice of “lüften” or briefly opening windows to refresh indoor air, has taken off in the U.S., with proponents claiming the practice improves air quality. What do you think?The post ‘House Burping’ Gains Popularity In U.S. appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/house-burping-gains-popularity-in-u-s/

Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth ChildSecond Lady Usha Vance announced she and Vice President JD Vance are expecting their fourth child amid public speculation about the health of their relationship. What do you think?The post Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/usha-vance-announces-pregnancy-with-fourth-child/

Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth ChildSecond Lady Usha Vance announced she and Vice President JD Vance are expecting their fourth child amid public speculation about the health of their relationship. What do you think?The post Usha Vance Announces Pregnancy With Fourth Child appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/usha-vance-announces-pregnancy-with-fourth-child/

ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of JusticeWASHINGTON—Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal operations, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Thursday that being in the privacy of one’s own home would now be deemed an obstruction of justice. “When an individual enters their residence, concea…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/ice-deems-being-in-privacy-of-own-home-obstruction-of-justice/

ICE Deems Being In Privacy Of Own Home Obstruction Of JusticeWASHINGTON—Warning that any attempt to spend time inside a personal residence constituted hostile interference with federal operations, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Thursday that being in the privacy of one’s own home would now be deemed an obstruction of justice. “When an individual enters their residence, concea…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/ice-deems-being-in-privacy-of-own-home-obstruction-of-justice/

Democrats Condemn ICE For Murdering Without Proper WarrantsWASHINGTON—In a statement calling for more guardrails around ongoing immigration operations, Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives publicly condemned Immigration and Customs Enforcement Thursday for routinely employing fatal use of force without obtaining the proper warrants. “For weeks, Democrats have pushed to require ICE agents to o…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/democrats-condemn-ice-for-murdering-without-proper-warrants/

Democrats Condemn ICE For Murdering Without Proper WarrantsWASHINGTON—In a statement calling for more guardrails around ongoing immigration operations, Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives publicly condemned Immigration and Customs Enforcement Thursday for routinely employing fatal use of force without obtaining the proper warrants. “For weeks, Democrats have pushed to require ICE agents to o…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/democrats-condemn-ice-for-murdering-without-proper-warrants/

Trump To Europe: ‘Getting Greenland Was Mr. Dilbert’s Final Wish’The post Trump To Europe: ‘Getting Greenland Was Mr. Dilbert’s Final Wish’ appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-to-europe-getting-greenland-was-mr-dilberts-final-wish/

Woman Throws Self On Grenade By Answering Call From Dysregulated FriendMILFORD, MA—Wincing at the blast of guttural sobs erupting from the speaker as she picked up, local woman Anna Higgins reportedly threw herself on a grenade Tuesday by answering a phone call from her dysregulated friend. “I’m so sorry, Jennifer—it must be really hard to get dumped so soon after you stopped taking your an…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/woman-throws-self-on-grenade-by-answering-call-from-dysregulated-friend/

Tim Allen Calls Out Oscars For Failure To Recognize Movies Where Guy Turns Into DogLOS ANGELES—Noting that this year’s nominations had once again completely omitted an important sector of cinema, actor Tim Allen took to social media Thursday to call out the Oscars for failing to recognize movies where a guy turns into a dog. “By not elevating these films, the Academy is sending …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/tim-allen-calls-out-oscars-for-failure-to-recognize-movies-where-guy-turns-into-dog/

David HammondThe post David Hammond appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/david-hammond/

Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ RuleThe post Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ Rule appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/medieval-scribe-keeps-forgetting-whence-whither-rule/

Fact-Checking Trump On GreenlandPresident Trump announced Wednesday that a framework for a future Greenland deal had been reached. The Onion assesses the veracity of Trump’s statements regarding Greenland.  Claim: Greenland needs protection from Russia and China. Partially true: Greenland needs protection from Russia, China, and the United States. Claim: America will use military force to acquire Greenland if […]The post Fact-C…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/fact-checking-trump-on-greenland/

Scientists Witness 2 Dogs Mating For First TimeThe post Scientists Witness 2 Dogs Mating For First Time appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/scientists-witness-2-dogs-mating-for-first-time/

Health Experts Warn Americans Not Sensually Eating Enough FruitCHICAGO—Calling attention to the startling lack of tied-up cherry stems in the average diet, health experts from the American Medical Association warned Tuesday that Americans were not sensually eating enough fruit. “While it’s recommended that adults erotically suck on at least two pieces of fruit daily, many people are falling far sho…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/health-experts-warn-americans-not-sensually-eating-enough-fruit/

Dwayne Johnson Intrigued After Learning About Special Trophy For Good ActorsLOS ANGELES—Leaning forward in his seat as a number of questions raced through his mind, Dwayne Johnson was reportedly intrigued Monday after learning there was a special trophy for good actors. “Huh, interesting—and you said they give them out every year?” asked Johnson, who frowned as he racked his brain in a…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/dwayne-johnson-intrigued-after-learning-about-special-trophy-for-good-actors/

Mary Hill and Becca CoxThe couple wed Saturday after realizing they could not, in fact, get the venue and vendor deposits back.The post Mary Hill and Becca Cox appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/mary-hill-and-becca-cox/

Red HouseFour-window square house complete with chimney smoke, two stick parents, and a large sun. Reference #84067The post Red House appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/red-house/

Two-Star Michelin Restaurant Given One-Star Hygiene RatingYnyshir, a Welsh restaurant with two Michelin stars, has been given a one star hygiene rating by food standards inspectors, with the chef responding to the score by claiming he has “the highest standards in the world.” What do you think?The post Two-Star Michelin Restaurant Given One-Star Hygiene Rating appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/two-star-michelin-restaurant-given-one-star-hygiene-rating/

Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News CycleWASHINGTON—Expressing deep fondness for those long-gone halcyon days, the U.S. population collectively yearned Tuesday for the relative calm of the “president is a giant pedophile” news cycle. “It was a simpler time then, back when all people wanted to talk about was the leader of the country molesting underage gir…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/nation-yearns-for-relative-calm-of-president-a-giant-pedophile-news-cycle/