Wandering Adventure Party

@scottmiller42 It will probably start a trend!

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake NudesWASHINGTON—Asserting that the images were “100% authentic,” the Justice Department released Monday what appeared to be deepfake nudes of Federal Reserve chair Jerome Powell. “The American people deserve to know that the central bank is led by a total slut,” Attorney General Pam Bondi said of the photo, promising that more sexually explicit images of Powell […]The post DOJ Releas…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/doj-releases-jerome-powell-deepfake-nudes/

X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk PicturesBASTROP, TX—In a trend that raises serious questions about consent on the social media platform, rising numbers of X users have been asking the Grok chatbot to put more clothes on pictures of Elon Musk, sources confirmed Monday. “We live in an age when all a user needs to do to generate a fully clothed […]The post X Users Ask Grok To Put More Cl…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/x-users-ask-grok-to-put-more-clothes-on-elon-musk-pictures/

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’The post Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’ appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/kristi-noem-on-renee-good-murder-we-will-find-the-immigrant-who-did-this/

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With The Stars Of ‘Heated Rivalry’Hockey romance Heated Rivalry has been renewed for Season 2. The Onion sat down with breakout stars Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams to discuss the hit series. The Onion: How did you prepare for your roles? Storrie: I worked with a kissing coach eight hours a day for weeks to make it look believable. Williams: […]The post The Onio…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-the-stars-of-heated-rivalry/

One Of Nation’s Oldest Newspapers Shutters After Almost 240 YearsThe Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, one of the nation’s oldest newspapers with roots dating back to 1786, will cease all operations after years of financial losses and labor disputes, with the closure leaving a major local news void. What do you think?The post One Of Nation’s Oldest Newspapers Shutters After Almost 240 Years appeared first…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/one-of-nations-oldest-newspapers-shutters-after-almost-240-years/

Study Finds Crows Able To Recognize Faces Had Work DoneITHACA, NY—Revealing the bird species has the capacity to detect botox, fillers, and even laser hair removal, a study published Thursday in the Journal Of Avian Biology found that crows are able to recognize faces that have had work done. “It’s clear from observational data that crows have a keen ability to not only detect, but […]The post Study Finds…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/study-finds-crows-able-to-recognize-faces-had-work-done/

Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For LegislatingWASHINGTON—Calling the discovery the “clearest proof yet” of how the U.S. government was originally designed to function, archaeologists published new evidence Thursday that suggests the Capitol building in Washington, D.C., may have once been used for legislating. In their academic paper, the researchers wrote that the sprawlin…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/archaeologists-d-c-capitol-may-have-once-been-used-for-legislating/

Foreskin ScrapbookedMILL VALLEY, CA—Having proudly removed the piece of shriveled penile flesh from its bag and laid it next to her large selection of craft supplies, local mother Emily Taylor spent the afternoon scrapbooking her son’s foreskin, wincing sources reported Tuesday. According to witnesses, the foreskin, which had belonged to her 6-day-old infant son before being snipped […]The post Foreskin Scrapbooked appeared first on The On…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/foreskin-scrapbooked/

You’re Bidding Against BlackRockThis charming property offers the perfect blend of comfort and convenience, which is exactly why it’s going to be purchased by the world’s largest asset manager. Good luck! Maybe they’ll rent it to you. Reference #68370The post You’re Bidding Against BlackRock appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/youre-bidding-against-blackrock/

In Tents SituationThe post In Tents Situation appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/in-tents-situation/

Ref Under Uprights Sheepishly Waits To Do ‘Good’ Sign Until Other Ref Does It FirstThe post Ref Under Uprights Sheepishly Waits To Do ‘Good’ Sign Until Other Ref Does It First appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/ref-under-uprights-sheepishly-waits-to-do-good-sign-until-other-ref-does-it-first/

Caleb Williams Signals Boisterous Chicago Home Crowd To Eat Less LoudlyCHICAGO—Pleading with fans to rein in their excitement during Saturday’s pivotal wild card matchup, Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams was reportedly forced to signal the boisterous home crowd at Soldier Field to eat less loudly. “The way these rowdy Bears fans are chewing, smacking their lips, and grunting as they…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/caleb-williams-signals-boisterous-chicago-home-crowd-to-eat-less-loudly/

‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail CarrierThe post ‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail Carrier appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/well-take-it-from-here-boys-says-kash-patel-to-confused-minneapolis-mail-carrier/

DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving CarsWASHINGTON—Circulating a new advisory that highlighted what it called the “worst of the worst,” the Department of Homeland Security released a watchlist Friday warning Americans about the presence of mothers driving cars. “Please be on the lookout for the following mothers, who are confirmed to be in possession of dangerous vehicles and should be met […]The post DHS Re…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/dhs-releases-watchlist-of-mothers-driving-cars/

JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First PlaceThe post JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First Place appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/jd-vance-claims-renee-good-had-no-authority-to-be-alive-in-first-place/

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Stephen MillerWhite House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller has been the force behind many of President Trump’s hard-line policies, including a “zero tolerance” immigration system, the Muslim ban, and, most recently, threats to annex Greenland. The Onion sat down with the “America First” policymaker to discuss his time in the administration. The Onion : How do […]The pos…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-stephen-miller/

Fox News Sends Trump Quarterly Tithe Of 3 Blond AnchorsWASHINGTON—Saying the sumptuous gift should slake the administration’s thirst for the next few months, Fox News sent President Donald Trump its quarterly tithe of three blond anchors, White House sources confirmed Friday. “We have traveled south to the White House steps to present you with these three Kayleighs,” said Fox Corporation CEO Lachlan Murdoc…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/fox-news-sends-trump-quarterly-tithe-of-3-blond-anchors/

Ken Burns Announces New 10-Part ‘Mr. Biscuits’ Documentary After Adopting CatWALPOLE, NH—Revealing that the series would force Americans to rethink everything they thought they knew about the “cute little fuzzball,” filmmaker Ken Burns announced Friday the release of Mr. Biscuits, a 10-part documentary about the cat he adopted from a local animal shelter. “For decades, I thought The Civi…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/ken-burns-announces-new-10-part-mr-biscuits-documentary-after-adopting-cat/

Timeline Of U.S. Interventions In Latin AmericaThe Trump administration’s strikes on Venezuela are part of a long history of American involvement in the region. The Onion looks back at the history of U.S. interventions in Latin America.  500 B.C. So far so good. 1899 The United Fruit Company begins its noble quest to spread the love of healthy eating throughout Latin […]The post Timeline Of U.S. Interventions In L…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/timeline-of-u-s-interventions-in-latin-america/