Wandering Adventure Party

Katherine LaNasa Admits She Had Never Heard Of Blood Before ‘The Pitt’BURBANK, CA—Admitting that her medical knowledge was “very limited” before landing the role of nurse Dana Evans, actress Katherine LaNasa told reporters Thursday that she had never heard of blood before The Pitt. “At first I wasn’t even pronouncing it right,” said the 59-year-old Emmy winner and HBO star, who credited the se…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/katherine-lanasa-admits-she-had-never-heard-of-blood-before-the-pitt/

Uncovered Georgia O’Keeffe Letters Confirm Paintings Were Veiled Depictions Of Basset HoundsSANTA FE, NM—Putting to rest a debate that had stirred in the art world for decades, newly uncovered letters from Georgia O’Keeffe made public this week confirmed long-running speculation that the painter’s iconic flower works were in fact veiled depictions of basset hounds. “I wa…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/uncovered-georgia-okeeffe-letters-confirm-paintings-were-veiled-depictions-of-basset-hounds/

James Cameron Reveals Next ‘Avatar’ Movie Will Focus On Vast Menagerie Of Sodas Available On PandoraLOS ANGELES—Calling the project a crucial piece of world-building for an iconic sci-fi saga, filmmaker James Cameron revealed Thursday that the next movie in his blockbuster Avatar franchise would focus on the vast menagerie of sodas available in the fictional world…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/james-cameron-reveals-next-avatar-movie-will-focus-on-vast-menagerie-of-sodas-available-on-pandora/

Amazing GrazeThe post Amazing Graze appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/amazing-graze/

Grandson Of Reese’s Cup Inventor Blasts Hershey’s Recipe ChangeBrad Reese, the grandson of the man who invented the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, is publicly criticizing The Hershey Company, accusing the candy giant of replacing traditional ingredients like milk chocolate and peanut butter with low-cost substitutes. What do you think?The post Grandson Of Reese’s Cup Inventor Blasts Hershey’s Recipe Cha…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/grandson-of-reeses-cup-inventor-blasts-hersheys-recipe-change/

‘Michael’ Director Reveals Biopic Will Fully Confront Allegations Against Kevin SpaceyLOS ANGELES—Responding to concerns that his upcoming Michael Jackson biopic would downplay accusations of sexual abuse involving the late singer, Michael director Antoine Fuqua revealed to reporters Wednesday that the film would fully confront allegations against actor Kevin Spacey. “Though it…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/michael-director-reveals-biopic-will-fully-confront-allegations-against-kevin-spacey/

Local Dad Really Banking On Sports To Instill Core Values In ChildrenWAUKESHA, WI—Saying his approach to parenting was “hands-off” as far as imparting fundamental life lessons was concerned, local dad Derrick Pomeroy told reporters Wednesday that he was really counting on sports to instill all of the core values his two children would need in life. “I could probably find more opportunities to…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/local-dad-really-banking-on-sports-to-instill-core-values-in-children/

Mexican Cartel Leader Killing Unleashes Wave Of ViolenceLarge swaths of western Mexico have been shut down after a surge in cartel violence sparked by the killing of one of the world’s most wanted drug kingpins, known as “El Mencho”, in a military raid, with foreign governments warning their citizens to stay inside. What do you think?The post Mexican Cartel Leader Killing Unleashes Wave Of Violence appea…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/mexican-cartel-leader-killing-unleashes-wave-of-violence/

Bodybuilder Films Self Eating Chicken To Make Sure Form CorrectATLANTA—Explaining that watching his movements on video had really helped him identify weaknesses and track his gains and losses, local bodybuilder Antonio Vergara filmed himself eating chicken Wednesday to make sure his form was correct. “People don’t realize it, but over 70% of injuries from ingesting lean proteins happen because of b…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/bodybuilder-films-self-eating-chicken-to-make-sure-form-correct/

Democrats Wear White Flag Pins To SOTU To Indicate SurrenderThe post Democrats Wear White Flag Pins To SOTU To Indicate Surrender appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/democrats-wear-white-flag-pins-to-sotu-to-indicate-surrender/

Trump Invites Victims Of Jeffrey Epstein Investigation As SOTU GuestsThe post Trump Invites Victims Of Jeffrey Epstein Investigation As SOTU Guests appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-invites-victims-of-jeffrey-epstein-investigation-as-sotu-guests/

Trump Delivers State Of The Union Death RattleThe post Trump Delivers State Of The Union Death Rattle appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-delivers-state-of-the-union-death-rattle/

Man Proud Of Hair On Ground After HaircutERIE, PA—Feeling what he described as intense satisfaction as he gazed at the floor around the barber chair, local man Gabriel Daynes, 35, was proud of all the hair on the ground after he got a haircut, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Wow, look at that big pile down there—I grew all that!” Daynes reportedly thought to […]The post Man Proud Of Hair On Ground After Haircut appeared fi…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/man-proud-of-hair-on-ground-after-haircut/

At No Point While Rewatching Every ‘Planet Of The Apes’ Does It Occur To Man He Might Be DepressedGRAND RAPIDS, MI—Despite ample opportunity for the troubling realization to occur to him in the long hours he spent staring at his laptop, sources reported Tuesday that local man Aaron Semple at no point recognized during his recent rewatching of every Planet Of The Ape…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/at-no-point-while-rewatching-every-planet-of-the-apes-does-it-occur-to-man-he-might-be-depressed/

@Tim_Eagon this is borderline pornographic

Tyra Banks Says Taking Abuse From Tyra Banks Simply Reflective Of How The Industry WorksSYDNEY—Responding to backlash following the release of Netflix’s America’s Next Top Model docuseries, supermodel and television personality Tyra Banks stated Tuesday that taking abuse from Tyra Banks is simply how the modeling industry works. “You can ask hundreds of models around the wo…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/tyra-banks-says-taking-abuse-from-tyra-banks-simply-reflective-of-how-the-industry-works/

Speechwriters Struggling To Spin List Of Ugly Women Trump Gave Them Into SOTU AddressThe post Speechwriters Struggling To Spin List Of Ugly Women Trump Gave Them Into SOTU Address appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/speechwriters-struggling-to-spin-list-of-ugly-women-trump-gave-them-into-sotu-address/

Toxic Masculinity Brought To Jigsaw PuzzleThe post Toxic Masculinity Brought To Jigsaw Puzzle appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/toxic-masculinity-brought-to-jigsaw-puzzle/

U.S. Populace Appoints Designated SurvivorThe post U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/u-s-populace-appoints-designated-survivor/

U.S. Tourists Advised To Temporarily Avoid Shootouts With Mexican Drug CartelsWASHINGTON—In an effort to protect visitors to the violently contested territories south of the U.S. border, the State Department advised American tourists on Monday to temporarily avoid shootouts with Mexican drug cartels. “While at this time, we see no need for American travelers to cancel their vacations,…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/u-s-tourists-advised-to-temporarily-avoid-shootouts-with-mexican-drug-cartels/